The #1 Tip for Getting the Peace You Crave in Your Marriage in 2018

BY: - 20 Dec '17 | Faith

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Perfect marriages do not exist! Let us put this long lived myth that has been destroying so many marriages to rest.  The myth that perfect marriages exist is nothing more than a lie that sets many marriages up for failure. These failures occur as a result of discord, disagreements, disharmony, worry, agitation, distress, frustration, fighting, and even hatred toward one another. As such, there is no peace.

Why does this happen?  Because by believing in a false reality, one can never be open to live in the true reality within their marriage.  Living and experiencing a true reality with your spouse allows each partner to be open enough to extend grace and mercy. This also means that each will be flexible and understanding enough to one another to experience unity.  Unity provides harmony and harmony provides peace.

In life each season brings good and bad times.  The same is true in our marriages.  Marriage can be like oil and water at times if both spouses are not careful.  However, it doesn’t have to be this way.  You can have your cake and eat it too (with your spouse of course) if you strive for a few marital goals.  The marital goals should consist of clear communication, respect, forgiveness, compromise, patience, trust, and if you want all of these you want to incorporate the number one tip below that will give you these and so much more!

Here is the number one tip my husband and I practice in our marriage that has proven successful in giving us an incredible sense of peace in our relationship. We believe it will do the same for you now, in 2018, and beyond!

PRAYER: The Secret to a Lasting and Peaceful Marriage

If you can relate to the following then let this tip be for you and yours.

One night, my husband Chris and I ended up in bed arguing followed by turning our backs on one another. We make an effort to pray together every night before going to sleep.  Do we fall short sometimes, you bet!  I say that to say again there is no such thing as perfection, so don’t try to be perfect and always practice grace and mercy where you and your marriage is concerned.  This night…a sister was not trying to hear praying!  I did not want to pray with him…real talk!

However, I could hear God talking to me and if you know like I know there is no tuning God out. He just gets louder!

He asked me, well more like told me “you know you need to pray with him and be the bigger person and initiate it.”

“I’m not feeling him tonight, God,” I replied.

“I understand and know you don’t,” He said. “But you know how the devil likes to come in to kill, steal, and destroy. What do you think he is attempting to do right now in this very moment in your marriage?” Within a few minutes, the Lord rolled me over, and I said, “Luv Bug can we pray please?” Chris and I both prayed, then I fell asleep in his arms. See how prayer fixed that!?

I’m willing to bet in your household or someone you knew coming up you heard the following:  “A family that prays together stays together.”  The Bible tells us that “with God all things are possible.”  So with God in our marriage, is peace not possible?  So who are we to question HIM?

Growing up, I can remember a hymn that says, “what a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and grief to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh what peace we often forfeit; oh what needless pain we bear; all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”

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In 1 Samuel 1:9, the Bible helps us understand that, “by strength shall no man prevail.”  Come together as a family and put your burdens upon the Lord and He will guide your path, answer your prayers, and bring you peace.  Not any old peace either, but a peace that passes all understanding!  Don’t take my word for it; go to the source: Philippians 4:7.

I thank God for that tradition of prayer He has helped us build. We give God all the glory in our marriage because I’m not kidding when I say that Chris and I would not be married had it not been for our prayer lives collectively and individually.

If I can encourage you with only one tip, it is this one!  I would strongly suggest that all married couples begin adopting this tip into their marriages immediately in order to experience the ultimate peace of marriage.

Chris & I wish you a very Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

BMWK, do you believe in the power of prayer to bring peace to your marriage?

About the author

Da-Nay Macklin wrote 51 articles on this blog.

Coach Da-Nay Macklin is a Certified Christian Life & Relationship Coach, founder of the Courageous Conquerors Mastermind and Author of Love After Adultery: The Breakthrough Journey of the Brokenhearted Available on Amazon She is one of the nation’s leading experts on infidelity and a thought leader on maximizing potential as she assists couples and individuals to live life by design and not default. Da-Nay has been has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network’s show Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal after successfully navigating adultery in her marriage, and named one of the 15 most powerful women on the south side of Chicago. She now resides in Charlotte, NC with her loving husband and daughter.

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Here’s the One Thing You Must Do in 2018 to Nip Relationship Conflict in the Bud

BY: - 22 Dec '17 | Faith

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As you can imagine, two imperfect people will definitely generate disagreement, frustration and, yes, conflict in a relationship. When you marry, you bring your flaws, a little of the past, and a moderate amount of baggage. In that baggage is the hurt others have caused, your unwillingness to forgive, and the triggers that remind you of just how hard-nosed you have to be.

The natural instinct of most individuals is to defend. People generally come out swinging whenever we feel our character, motives, or actions are being attacked. Conflict comes in various forms and can arise quickly or build up over time. Your insecurities flare up from time to time when situations don’t go your way and instinct causes you to react. That reaction is usually the beginning of conflict.

If you feel like your relationship is beyond the point of help, and conflict has just demolished the communication, the trust, and every other part of your relationship, you must pray. Prayer should never be the last resort; it should actually be ongoing in every situation. However, when you feel you’ve given your relationship everything you have, you’ve been committed, you’ve communicated, shared, been vulnerable, and have been a great listener, it might be time to sit still.

In that stillness, ask God to move in you and to reveal to you what your next action step needs to be. Pray for your relationship and, specifically, how to properly handle marital discord. You weren’t drawn to each other only for your marriage to suffer. You deserve happiness and peace in your marriage. You also have to be willing to work for it. It will require love, commitment, and self- sacrifice. You have to be willing to do what is necessary to experience a marriage filled with the same peace for which you prayed.

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When I take an honest assessment of my motives and actions towards my husband, I sometimes have to check myself. If they don’t align with the peace we both want, I have to rethink my words and approach the situation from a different angle. One of my favorite scriptures, and the one that immediately takes me back to remembering my original goal, is the following: “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Romans 14:19

Find a scripture that speaks to your specific marriage, one that brings about a healing just upon hearing it. Please remember to also take your spouse by the hands and pray together. There is no greater bond than a couple who can pray together, even in the midst of trial.

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Remember conflicts arise when two individuals are unable to see eye-to-eye on a certain situation. They aren’t the end of the world, and are actually quite normal. You will experience them in your marriage; you’re human. The one takeaway is to allow the love you and your spouse share to trump the anger and the egos, which have no place in your relationship.

In everything you do and say, love should always be present. It should be obvious in your tone of speech, the words you say, and your ability to forgive when you feel you’ve been wronged. Your marriage, just like any other, is worthy of all the peace and joy it can hold. Be blessed!

BMWK, Are you ready to deal with conflict once and for all?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 634 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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