3 Ways Being Open With Your Spouse Can Change the Course of Your Marriage

BY: - 5 Jan '18 | Communication

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The longer I am married, going on 16 years now, the more I am convinced that tying the knot is not meant for the weak at heart or the weak minded. A good marriage takes the kind of work that requires each individual to be all in…for life. Ask anyone who’s been successfully married for a while and they will tell you that communication is the driving force behind their continued union.

While communication is a key aspect of keeping the love strong, it’s important to strengthen one of its most challenging concepts – openness. The quality of your openness with your spouse can make or break your relationship. In fact, the rise or fall of your marriage lies squarely in your ability to grasp real transparency.

In its purest form, communication requires the kind of vulnerability that people fear. When it comes to your spouse, fully letting your hair down, if you will, can seriously make cowards of us all. But it is one of the greatest ways you and your Bae can ensure a lifetime of trust and ultimately love. Even if your relationship seems doomed, there are three ways you can be open with your spouse that has the potential to truly change the course of your marriage.

Emotional Openness

When two people decide to get married, they each bring a plethora of life experiences to their union. The effect these experiences will have in the marriage won’t be easy to determine beforehand. However, preemptive action can be taken to prevent a fallout if a negative situation is triggered.

To set your marriage up to win, you must each be willing to vulnerably share the pain you feel and how your partner can help you move forward when you’ve been hurt. Taking the relationship higher will mean taking the conversations deeper. Surface conversations are no longer your friend. You know you are making emotional headway when you may be ashamed or embarrassed by what you share. This type of transparency is an important catalyst in deepening the trust between you as a couple. As a result, you will be rewarded with a healthier and stronger bond.

Physical Openness

It may seem a bit weird, but physical openness in a relationship can be a big deal if it’s not handled well. We all have insecurities about our bodies. We’re too fat. We’re too skinny. Big forehead. Flat butt. Too short. Too tall. Big nose. Crooked teeth. The list is never ending.  Unfortunately, our insecurities about our self image can bring unnecessary tension to the relationship if we fail to be open about them. I don’t mean in a self deprecating way either. Instead, be open about the physical shortcomings that bother you the most and tell your spouse why.

  • Maybe you were teased as a kid about your nose.
  • Maybe you’ve always carried a little more fat than you’d like
  • Maybe the jokes about your teeth are the reason you now refuse to smile

Whatever it may be, revealing your physical insecurities helps your spouse know one more way to encourage you. As that happens, you will learn to set aside any doubts you have about how they see you and you learn to love yourself even more.

Intellectual Openness

Sharing your mind and your way of thinking is an incredible bridge builder in a relationship. By giving your partner the opportunity to know how you think, you can open the door to communication and understanding even wider. Understanding you intellectually serves many purposes:

  • It makes you easier to approach
  • It removes the guessing game from the relationship
  • It gives you both a chance to affirm and reaffirm your compatibility
  • It makes conversations way more fun

The ability to talk to each other intelligently leads to a deeper understanding of the heart. When you know the things that are most important to your spouse’s heart, you can develop and implement ways to serve it, encourage it, and protect it.

No one said that marriage would be easy. But to make it great, openness is a must. No matter where your relationship is today, you can give it a fighting chance by laying your heart, mind, and body on the table and trust your spouse to take care of it all.

BMWK, are you ready to really be open with your spouse?


About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 143 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.


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Are You Prepared? These 4 Things Can Make or Break Your Marriage

BY: - 10 Jan '18 | Communication

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My 13 year old son recently asked me a question that many of you are probably familiar with. It’s the good old, “If you fill a glass half full of water, is the glass half full or half empty?” Naturally, I responded with the very wise, adult answer of, “well, it depends on your perspective.” His response was, “No Mommy. It’s completely full. It’s half full of water and half full of air.” I have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. It made me laugh. And, it made me think.

How many of us approach marriage that way? Do we view our marriage as either half full or half empty? Or, do we see it as completely full. The interesting thing is that in order to survive as a human being, you need both water and air. But, how you use it will determine whether you live or die. Pure water nourishes the body. Contaminated water brings disease and can kill. Clean air strengthens you. Polluted air weakens you.

To enjoy a successful marriage, there is a primary concept that is important to the strength of a relationship. Unless it is properly implemented, your union is destined for a bumpy ride and possibly even failure. It’s important to grasp the hold that this ideal has on the success of a relationship. Without a proper understanding of its significance, your marriage can suffer needlessly. It is the key to a seeing your relationship as a completely full glass, surviving on water and air. So, what is it?

Let me start by keeping it simple. Good communication is a requirement if you want your marriage to make it. However, there are so many synonyms I could use here. Effective, smart, or wise are all terms associated with communication that makes a marriage move toward success or longevity. While this article will outline some things that can make or break your marriage, I believe that at the root of each is the way each partner communicates with the other about them.

Things that could make your marriage great can end up breaking your marriage apart if not properly handled or discussed.  Instead of bringing you closer in the relationship, they are a source of division. By using wise and effective communication in the following areas, you can keep your marriage running on clean air and pure water.


Starting a family is a blessing to most. When a husband and wife make a decision to have children, they are ready to share their love and start a new generation. However, if they aren’t on the same page on how to make their family work both inside and outside of the confines of their personal relationship, they could be setting themselves up for failure.

Whether it’s a blended family or starting a brand new one, having open communication about what they expect their family to look like and how they will go about getting there will be an important step in making the marriage great.

Business / Career

Starting a business or advancing career opportunities can be exciting. When we are doing what it takes to see a dream come to life, it has the potential to breathe life into our character and thus, our marriage. But, the adverse is also true. Whether you start a business together or one spouse is making significant career strides, communicating effectively and often will have significant impact. Making or breaking your marriage will depend heavily on whether both partners are on the same page and whether the end game will fulfill both of their needs.

Financial Goals

Financial success can bring so much fun to a relationship. It eases worry, provides opportunity, and offers security. But what if one spouse values opportunity over security? Well, you have a problem. Discussing your financial goals and what it will take to achieve them is vital to keeping your marriage on track. But, let me add that talk is cheap when it comes to this hot button issue. Dollar for dollar, your success in achieving these goals can be seen on a daily basis. It can therefore be a source of encouragement or strife in the relationship.

Character Development

Character change and growth in a relationship can be a wonderful thing when two people are growing together.  Naturally, growth looks differently to different people. For some, they grow through hardship and suffering.  Others grow through a desire to succeed. Others grow through spiritual guidance and a desire to be close to God.

It matters little how growth comes. The impact on a marriage and whether growth makes or breaks the relationship can be easily determined by the conversations that are being had. If one individual begins to strengthen their relationship with God and then unilaterally makes relationship changes and decisions, that’s a major set up for failure. However, talking it out with their partner and expressing why these changes are important to them is a wise step regardless of whether their spouse agrees with them or not.

The same could be said for any area of growth and how it comes about. Communicating the changes going on inside of your heart can help to bridge gaps that character change often brings in a relationship.


Learn how to improve your communication almost immediately and reduce the amount of unnecessary arguments and issues that come up so easily because of saying the wrong words or sending the wrong messages with our Effective Communication Online Training System. On sale now!

So, how will you go about handling life as a married couple? When change arises through family, finances, career, or character development, it can serve your marriage in an amazing way and make it great. Your marriage can be fully nourished by pure water and have life breathed into it by clean air. On the other hand,  these issues can also break the back of a marriage that isn’t fortified with wise and effective communication. Take the time necessary to learn how to talk to your husband or your wife. It will go a long way in making or breaking your marriage.

BMWK, how do you deal with these issues that can make or break your marriage?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 143 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.


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