Here’s How to Use Prayer to Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage

BY: - 12 Jan '18 | Faith

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Conflict, unfortunately, doesn’t always end with peaceful solutions. When relationship conflicts can’t be resolved, there you’ll find damaged egos, hurt feelings, hateful words, and, sometimes, the end of a marriage.

If you feel like your relationship is beyond the point of help, and the conflict has just demolished the communication, the trust, and every other part of your relationship, you must pray. Prayer should never be the last resort; it should actually be ongoing in every situation. However, when you feel you’ve given your relationship everything you have, you’ve been committed, you’ve communicated,
shared, been vulnerable, and have been a great listener, it might be time to sit still.

In that stillness, ask God to move in you and to reveal to you what your next action step needs to be. Pray for your relationship and, specifically, how to properly handle marital discord. You weren’t drawn to each other only for your marriage to suffer. You deserve happiness and peace in your marriage. You also have to be willing to work for it. It will require love, commitment, and self- sacrifice. You have to be willing to do what is necessary to experience a marriage filled with the same peace for which you prayed.

When I take an honest assessment of my motives and actions towards my husband, I sometimes have to check myself. If they don’t align with the peace we both want, I have to rethink my words and approach the situation from a different angle. One  of my favorite scriptures, and the one that immediately takes me back to remembering my original goal is the following: “Let us, therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Romans 14:19

Find a scripture that speaks to your specific marriage, one that brings about a healing just upon hearing it. Please remember to also take your spouse by the hands and pray together. There is no greater bond than a couple who can pray together, even in the midst of trial.

Remember, conflicts arise when two individuals are unable to see eye-to-eye on a certain situation. They aren’t the end of the world and are actually quite normal. You will experience them in your marriage; you’re human. The one takeaway is to allow the love you and your spouse share to trump the anger and the egos, which have no place in your relationship.

In everything you do and say, love should always be present. It should be obvious in your tone of speech, the words you say, and your ability to forgive when you feel you’ve been wronged. Your marriage, just like any other, is worthy of all the peace and joy it can hold. Be blessed!

BMWK, are you ready to pray your conflict away?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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What it Means to Embrace a Dating Relationship Done God’s Way

BY: - 19 Jan '18 | Faith

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“I did it my way!” This is a line from a well known and well covered Frank Sinatra song “My Way.” The lyrics to the song feed into this idea that a life well lived is one where I call all the shots and, regardless of regrets, it couldn’t have been better because well, “I did it my way!”

Sadly, many people buy into this mentality. In many aspects of life, we refuse to seek counsel, professional help, or spiritual guidance because we want to do things our own way. Unfortunately, the way many people handle dating relationships is no different. In Proverbs 15:22 (NIV), the Bible tells us that “plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” I love this scripture, but I must add a qualifier. When it comes to dating, who are your advisers? Is it your girl who is in and out of a relationship every six months? Is it your co-worker whose marriage is on the rocks? Or, is it your own best thinking…you know, the kind that tells you it’s okay to date a married man?

Relationships done God’s way are not watered down or hyped up.

So many men and women sell themselves short and never find love because they get bad advice or none at all. Then, when a spiritual friend suggests seeking guidance from God to find real love, they dismiss the idea as old-fashioned and not for them. And, like a hamster on a wheel, they go round and round. They might end up with someone but is that someone the best person for them?

Dating relationships done God’s way are not easy. They carry a standard few people are willing to abide by but those who do come out happy and fulfilled on the other side. So what does a dating relationship done God’s way look like?

Relationships done God’s way are not watered down or hyped up. They develop under a set of rules, yes, I said rules, that breathe lifetime possibility into the union from the very beginning. Many people claim they don’t like rules, yet, whether it’s theirs or someone else’s, they live under the ones they choose to embrace. God’s rules aren’t for the weak. If you are interested in a dating relationship done God’s way, you better have some chutzpah. The kind of lifetime love you get with His standards will be more than you can ever ask or imagine.

Built on rock, not on sand

So many relationships these days seem like they’ve just washed up off the shore of some beach somewhere. They are so full of sand that nothing solid could ever come out of them. Relationships done God’s way are built on a solid foundation of Jesus first. When a potential mate walks into your life, ask God what He thinks. Then take the time to look out for His answer. Rose colored glasses are a nifty accessory, but they do very little to help when you’re looking for a mate. Take those glasses off and really get to know the person. you are interested in

  • How are they around other people?
  • How are they with family?
  • What’s their language like?
  • How have they been treating you since you’ve met?
  • What happened in their last relationship?
  • When was their last relationship?
  • Do they go to church?
  • Do they read their Bible?
  • Do they keep their hands to themselves?
  • Do they sound like a Christian but don’t live like one?
  • What are the things they talk about the most?

There are so many questions that need asking that go beyond favorite color and flavor of ice cream. Are those relevant as well? Heck, Yeah! But they do little to help you determine whether or not you’ll be in a meaningful relationship with the person you’re with. Take time to get to know them so you can ensure the relationship is rock solid.

Sex is off the table until the wedding night

Nothing weeds out a man or woman in pursuit faster than you telling them you won’t be giving it up until after you are married. Given the society we live in, I actually debated whether or not I would include this standard in this article. But, I can’t half step on this issue. Look, if you want to have sex before marriage, cool. But don’t then claim you are following God’s standards in the process. It is hypocritical. And before you say that I can’t judge people, blah, blah, blah, I already told you God’s standards are not for the weak. Ephesians 5:3-5 will back me up on this.

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You see, excuses are aplenty when we want what we want. So, rather than walk down the wide road, explore the road less traveled. We all know our weaknesses when it comes to sex. We know the words, the looks, the touch, and the environment that heats us up.

If we want to do things God’s way, then, like a recovering alcoholic, we should stay out of the bar. If you find yourself in a place that pushes all of your sexual buttons, GET OUT! And remember this: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

There is so much more that can be said about dating the way God intended. His plan for dating relationships is a plan that involves the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. Begin by giving up the “I did it my way” philosophy and allow God’s way to take over. You’ll be glad you did.

BMWK, are you ready to do dating relationships God’s way?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 157 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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