Strained and Broken: A Prayer for a Marriage in Ruins

BY: - 5 Apr '18 | Faith

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The warning signs are clear. You know your marriage is strained and broken and you don’t know what to do anymore. You and your spouse have not seen eye to eye for a long time. You rarely communicate and when you do the tension is swift and thick. This lends itself to misunderstandings that take root and become resentments. Like a burning inferno, the resentment sweeps through your relationship, destroying everything you have built together. And now, the love that was once sacred is in trouble, left broken and in disgrace.

What do you do?

If you’re a person of faith, I encourage you to take a page from Nehemiah’s playbook. Though Nehemiah 1:1-11 is not about relationships, it is, in essence, about how far one man was willing to go to rebuild a life he once loved. The walls of Jerusalem had been broken down and the city lay vulnerable and open to destruction.

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Is your marriage anything like Jerusalem? Do you find your relationship in trouble and disgrace? Are the walls of protection strained and broken? Nehemiah sets a great example of what to do when faced with what seems to be insurmountable odds. He prays. And prays. And prays.

I encourage you to really take stock of where things are in your marriage and follow Nehemiah’s lead. “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.”

  1. Take the time to weep – acknowledge where things are in your relationship and allow yourself to feel the pain of a dying love.
  2. Take a few days off or away – Remove yourself from anything that can distract you from the battle ahead.
  3. Take time to mourn – A strained and broken relationship is a loss. Before it can be revived, the loss of what once was must be felt.
  4. Take time to fast – the clarity that comes with it is worth it.
  5. Pray. And pray. And pray. I encourage you to pray Nehemiah’s prayer but with your marriage in mind as in the following:

Prayer for Your Strained and Broken Marriage

“O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands; please listen to me as I earnestly pray before you day and night for my strained and broken marriage. I confess the sins I have committed against you (be specific here and own up to your faults). I have acted very wickedly toward you and to my spouse. I have not obeyed the commands, decrees, and laws you gave me in how to be a Godly partner to my husband/wife.

Remember the instruction you gave us for our wedding vows, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” In our unity, we have become unfaithful. The love we once felt has been scattered and our relationship is strained and broken. But, if we return to you and obey your commands, then even if our relationship seems to be beyond repair, you will gather us together so that our home can once again be a dwelling for my Name.

We are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. O Lord, let your ear be attentive to my prayer. Give me success today by granting me favor in the presence of my spouse.”

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Each day, as you commit your relationship to God and to the plans he has for you and your spouse, don’t lose heart. Stand firm in your trust in Him. Even though it won’t be easy, remember that just like the walls of Jerusalem, your broken and strained marriage can be rebuilt.

BMWK, are you ready to pray for your strained and broken marriage?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 150 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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7 Lessons the Bible Teaches Us About Marriage

BY: - 20 Apr '18 | Faith

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When it comes to the concept of marriage and how to make them great, opinions run aplenty among both married and unmarried folks. In fact, many people have no idea how to make a marriage great or, if they know, are unwilling to put in the work it takes to do so. Women often seek advice from their girlfriends. Men usually run to their boys. But there are so many lessons the Bible teaches us about marriage, it’s the one resource that most often gets neglected.

Below, I’ve outlined some scriptures that give amazing direction for your relationship with your spouse. They’re only useful if you use them. Some are specific to husbands and others to wives but feel free to learn from each other. Whether your marriage is soaring high or in the valley low, I suggest you give them a try.

Marriage Lesson #1 – Character counts a lot, so keep yours noble.

Proverbs 31:1 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

If you’re a Christian wife, you’ve most likely read this passage. If you’re not, but you’re interested in the importance of character in your marriage, this scripture gives great insight. Conducting yourself with nobility is worth more than rubies. Work on this trait and earn your husband’s confidence.

Marriage Lesson #2 – It’s important to build your own family.

Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

It can be difficult to leave your extended family out of your relationship with your spouse, especially if you have always been close. But you and your spouse have begun your own family. You will create your own traditions. You will implement your own ideas. Remember, in your marriage, you and your spouse are designed to be as one. Don’t let anything – or anyone – get in the way of that.

Marriage Lesson #3 – Help your spouse do the right thing no matter how difficult it might be.

Acts 5:2 With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.

It takes courage to call your spouse out on something that you both know is wrong. When you see them taking a path that will damage their spirit and lower your esteem of them, pray and speak up. In fact, keep praying and keep speaking until they are moved to do the right thing.

Marriage Lesson #4 – Sex with your spouse is a must. Have lots of it.

1Corinthians 7:3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

Sexless marriages are not a myth. They actually exist. If you approach this part of your marriage with the mindset that God intends, yours doesn’t have to be one of them. It’s important to keep in mind that implementing some of the other lessons found in this article will most likely keep bedroom activities poppin’ off on the regular.

Marriage Lesson #5 – God gives the directions but someone needs to steer the ship.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

I know that not everyone subscribes to this way of thinking. But if you want your marriage to encounter smooth sailing, I recommend you not only “subscribe” but “like” and “follow” it as well.

Marriage Lesson #6 – Love the Respect the Love.

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

When it comes to love and respect, one often begins where the other one ends…just like the sentence above. Nurture both in your marriage.

Marriage Lesson #7 – Get out of your own head.

Philippians 2:5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

Perhaps the most difficult challenge couples face when it comes to their relationship is learning how to get out of their heads and adopt the mind of Christ. You enter a marriage as an individual, with history. Sometimes, that history has unbelievable scars. Whether you intend to or not, you probably view your spouse through a scarred lens.  This scripture advises you to get out of your head and into the mind of Christ. Once you see your spouse the way Christ does, marriage miracles start to happen.

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There are a million other lessons on marriage in the Bible. I’m sure we’ll add more to the list. But start with these. Your friends and trusted loved ones will still have things to say when it comes to your relationship with your spouse. It’s up to you to decide whose advice you’re going to take.

BMWK, will you put these lessons into practice?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 150 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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