17 Reasons I Am Grateful for My Husband

BY: - 25 May '18 | Marriage

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When you’ve been married for a while, your relationship can take a hit on the gratitude side if you are not intentional about finding the good in your mate. Think about it. As a newlywed, the first couple of months are literally a honeymoon. You know how to love your spouse. You know why you love your spouse. You know why you are happily married. After a while, however, their polish starts to fade and you’re no longer blinded by love. The flaws that were once easily dismissed have become points of contention in your marriage and you don’t quite know how to handle it. Let me clue you in. Get grateful. Yep, that’s right. Gratitude is, indeed, the best attitude. As a wife of 16 years to the love of my life, 17 reasons I am grateful for my husband can easily flow from my lips like a river. But I get that it doesn’t work that way for everyone. Bring this topic up say, seven years ago, and it wouldn’t have worked that way for me either. So, before I drop my list of 17 reasons, let me first tell you what I did to find my spirit of gratitude.

I identified my weaknesses first

You know, the Bible is true when it says that you should “first remove the plank from your own eye before you can see to remove the speck of dust from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5 (NIV) Sure, my husband isn’t perfect, but I couldn’t see my own faults because I was so busy picking on his. Once I began to shine the light on my own glaring imperfections, I began to realize he’s one heck of a man for putting up with me. And, for that, I was grateful.

I got real about the root of our marital conflict

Okay, so we began to understand that neither of us is perfect. Now what? Well, our next step was to stop pointing the finger at each other like children and begin to take a hard look at our union like grown folks do. Were we engaged in effective communication? What bottled up needs did we need to let out? What did we each need to change in order to ensure we never returned to the place we were in?

Related: 17 Reasons I’m Grateful For My Wife

Now that the door had been opened and fresh air was let into our relationship, I could once again see the halo over my husband’s head. It was as shiny as ever. And here are 17 of the many things that keep me seeing it every day.

17 Reasons I Am Grateful for My Husband

  • He makes me laugh so hard I fall on the floor
  • He takes care of me when I am sick
  • He goes out of his way to get my favorite…
  • He drops whatever he is doing and comes to me the moment I say I need him
  • He dreams big and works hard
  • He hugs our sons and tells them he loves them
  • He encourages and actively supports my ideas…the good ones
  • He challenges my mind
  • He teaches our sons to be responsible
  • He trains our sons to be men
  • He takes care of our extended family without hesitation
  • He thinks and acts spiritually
  • He is gifted
  • He is sexy
  • He is fun
  • He serves without complaint
  • He does the laundry
  • Wow, I can’t believe it’s 17 already. I really could keep going.

There aren’t enough words to explain the way gratitude has changed the trajectory of my marriage. It is a force to be reckoned with. So if you want to see your marriage become better and better every day, find more and more things to be grateful for in your relationship. That’s really all it takes.

BMWK, why are you grateful for your spouse?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 156 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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Should I Password Protect My Phone or Leave My Marriage?

BY: - 29 May '18 | Marriage

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Dear Dr.Buckingham, I have been married for 12 years with 3 children, though I already had a child before I got married making 4 children. My problem is that I don’t have access to my husband’s phone. My phone is always open for him so that he can have access to it. I am getting pissed and irritated now because he will wake me up in the middle of the night questioning me about conversations on social media and my phone calls. He even quotes my responses. I believe that marriage should be about trust. Should I Password Protect My Phone or Leave My Marriage?

Thank you,

Fed-up wife

Ask Dr. Buckingham

Dear Fed-up wife,

I agree that marriage should be about trust. However, it is difficult to develop trust where insecurity is present. Your husband’s insecurity has to be addressed first and foremost. Password protecting your phone will probably intensify his insecurities and cause him to become more paranoid. While it is uncomfortable to have him go through your phone, it is better for now. Most people would not agree so let me explain.

Jealousy is best defined as mental uneasiness from fear of unfaithfulness. Jealousy is an emotion that can lead to unwarranted or unmanageable rage. If you have nothing to hide, do not give him a reason to think that you are hiding something. Yes, you deserve privacy and the same respect and trust that you give him. However, that is not happening now.

The last thing you want to do is make a bad situation worse. Therefore, I do not recommend that you password protect your phone at this time. However, I do recommend that you seek professional counseling. If he refuses to participate in therapy, then I recommend that you do what is best for you. I do not know enough about your marriage to make a comment about whether or not you should leave. I know that it is not easy to deal with insecurity or lack of trust in a marriage, but leaving may not be the best answer initially.

Instead of getting angry, irritated, or leaving him, try to talk with him about his concerns. If he does not know the people that you are communicating with on social media, take a few minutes and explain who some of them are. This does not cost you a lot to do but could prevent a few headaches. Your primary goal should be to maintain your sanity and effectively manage his emotional instability.

If you feel that your husband’s insecurity can or will lead to emotional or physical abuse, please seek professional help for yourself. I mention this because you inquired about leaving. Typically, people do not think about leaving their marriage over trust issues alone. Usually, the lack of trust highlights other issues of concern such as aggression or emotional abuse. Your safety and emotional well-being should be more important than stroking his ego. Get help if warranted.

Best regards,

Dr. Buckingham

If you have questions for Dr. Dwayne Buckingham regarding relationships (married, single, etc), parenting, or personal growth and development, please send an email to askdrbuckingham@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The ideas, opinions, and recommendations contained in this post are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional counseling or guidance. Any concerns or questions that you have about relationships or any other source of potential distress should be discussed with a professional, in person. The author is not liable or responsible for any personal or relational distress, loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or recommendations in this post.

FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Ways to Prevent Blended Family Challenges From Breaking Up Your Marriage. Don’t give up on your marriage because of stepfamily issues. You can get help and this is the first step plus it’s free! Click here to download your FREE eGuide.

About the author

Dwayne Buckingham wrote 220 articles on this blog.

Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham, author of Qualified, yet Single: Why Good Men Remain Single and Unconditional Love: What Every Woman and Man Desires in a Relationship, is a highly acclaimed international clinical psychotherapist, life coach, relationship and resiliency expert, motivational speaker and corporate consultant. He is also the President and Chief Executive Officer of R.E.A.L. Horizons Consulting Service, located in Silver Spring, Maryland. To learn more about Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham visit his website at www.DrBuckingham.com.

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