Ghosted? 3 Possible Reasons He Disappeared After a Great Date

BY: - 28 May '18 | Single

Share this article!

tnmwomandepressedsad_feature

You finally met a good one from that dating app you feel like you’ve been chained to for the last 3 months, and he asked you for a meet and greet. You met up for appetizers and the conversation was mentally stimulating. He seemed to be impressed by you too, which is refreshing considering the fact that men tend to be intimidated by your success. Plus, he was easy on the eyes! This man was great on paper and amazing in real life.

You’re intrigued to know more about him, so when the night was over, you asked him, “let me know if you want to hang out again.” His response was an enthusiastic “Sure!”

That was on Tuesday. Today is Friday. You haven’t gotten a text message from him since your great date. Did he disappear? Why didn’t he call you back?

If you’re tired of having a great first date and then nothing, I want to share 3 possible reasons why he disappeared so you can have peace and move forward with your confidence intact.

1. He was interested in you, but not attracted to you

Have you ever had a great conversation with a guy online, but when you met up, he wasn’t as delicious as you thought he’d be? Well, it can happen for men too. Think back to the date: Was the energy strong? Or did it feel like you were 2 good friends talking? If you had to take the temperature of the date, was it steaming hot, ice cold, or lukewarm?

Remember, you want a man who is excited about you, not just impressed by you.

2. He wanted something casual

Some guys disappear after a great date because they know they only want a casual hookup. Once they meet you, they can tell you want something more substantial. When you think back to the conversation, did he ask you questions about what you wanted in a relationship? Did he say something like, “So…are you the kind of woman who needs to have a label on the relationship before you have sex?” If he was fishing for information on your intentions, then it’s highly likely that he wasn’t going to go the distance with you anyway. He knew that and didn’t want to waste your time.

3. He’s dating other women

If it’s been 3 days since your last date and he hasn’t called you back, he may have a  heavy rotation of other women he’s talking to. I’m not trying to make him out to be a player. I’m giving you insight into the minds of some men who date online. They tend to go for quantity and speed, going out with as many women as they can and then eliminating them based on whatever criteria they have in their minds (and they won’t be upfront about it).


Don’t get offended or feel rejected: Take a page out of their playbook and go out with other guys too. You may meet another man on Saturday who blows Mr. Tuesday Date out the water!

Dating is rarely black and white. A great date doesn’t mean it’s going to turn into a relationship. Take your time and don’t look at the next guy through marriage eyes. Just enjoy your appetizers and drinks, lean back, and see if he pursues you. The right man won’t want you to get away, and will ask you out again before the first date is over!

BMWK, have you ever had a guy disappear after a great date? Tell me your story, and I’ll coach you on what to do about it. 

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 182 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

Leave a Reply

Get
Single/Dating Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

Ladies: What to Do When He Says “I Don’t Know What I Want” In a Relationship

BY: - 6 Jun '18 | Single

Share this article!

TNMCoupleDinnerDatefeature

You just had a really nice date, and he tells you he’s interested in seeing you again. But when you ask him what he’s looking for in a relationship he says, “I don’t know what I want.” What does he mean?

Or, you’re 3 months into dating a handsome, successful brotha who has been kind and consistent with you, but he hasn’t brought up the commitment talk yet. When you ask him where things are headed, he says, “I don’t know what I want,” leaving you to interpret what in the world that means.

When a man gives you such a vague answer to a very specific question about his desires for a relationship, it can leave you swimming in doubt, insecurity, and fear. Does he just want a hookup? Has he been playing me this whole time? Do I just give him some time to figure it all out? Is he trying to break up with me?!

If this a familiar dating situation you find yourself in, I’m going to clear things up for you. If a man says he doesn’t know what he wants, but he still wants to spend time with you, know that you’re starting a relationship on shaky ground. You’re essentially playing “guess what’s in my head” with this guy, spending too much time trying to read between the lines of his actions. Solid relationships should make you feel secure about where you stand with your man. So let me give you 3 possible interpretations of “I don’t know what I want,” so you can know your next move.

Definition #1: “I don’t know WHO I want.”

If a man has been dating you for several months and from the outside looking in, makes you feel like he’s committed to you, but doesn’t ever actually commit to you, you need to assume he’s seeing other people. In this case, it’s not that he doesn’t know what he wants. It’s that he doesn’t know WHO he wants. If you want to be a priority and not just an option to a man you’re dating, then you need to make a decision about whether you’ll keep dating him.

Definition #2: “I don’t like being alone but I also don’t want to commit to the work of a relationship.”

If you’re in the early stages of dating and he tells you he’s unsure of why he’s dating in the first place, this man could just want companionship without having to commit. Maybe he’s recently divorced and misses the comforts of relationships, but he’s still figuring out his new life as a bachelor. If he’s not quite sure of what he wants out of dating, don’t get emotionally attached to him so quickly. Wait until his relationship goals are aligned with yours.

Definition #3: I don’t want to tell you the truth and hurt your feelings 

Sometimes a man just doesn’t want to tell you the truth because he doesn’t want to be responsible for your hurt feelings. Hey may feel pressured to tell you what he thinks you want to hear, and if he says anything other than, “I”m looking for commitment,” you’ll feel some kind of way (and you won’t want to be with him anymore). The fact is you want a partner who values honesty and kindness, and if this man you’re seeing isn’t able to tell you what he’s really thinking now, he may not be able to in the future.

HOW TO LEARN BETTER COMMUNICATION:

Learn how to improve your communication almost immediately and reduce the amount of unnecessary arguments and issues that come up so easily because of saying the wrong words or sending the wrong messages with our Effective Communication Online Training System. On sale now!

In all of these scenarios, the best thing you can do to protect yourself from wasting your time and breaking your heart is to give him space. This may mean continuing to see him in the early stages of dating but don’t let yourself become emotionally attached. Keep dating other people so that you’re not blindsided if he never becomes ready for something serious. If you’ve been dating a man for a while and he’s still not sure of what he wants, don’t give him an ultimatum. Give yourself the gift of commitment by telling him you’re going to look for someone who does know he’s ready for love.

BMWK, how do you respond when your date says, “I don’t know what I want?” Tell me in the comments below!

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 182 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress