Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way: Parenthood is hard, children won’t fully appreciate your efforts for years to come, and in spite of our every hurdle we’re thrown, parents around the world will still try their best.
My son has reminded me that he deserves my best every single day. This reminder has led to many long nights wondering what key lessons I would like him to get from me. So, I decided to open the computer and write directly to him. So even if I’m not around, he’ll always know what I wanted for him.
Understand the Significance of Balance
Everything, and I mean every single thing or concept, is fighting for balance. Try to understand the balance in all things competing for attention or dominance. Nothing is one sided all the time. No one solution or ideology works in all situations.
Most importantly, find the balance within yourself. Money, faith, insecurity, relationships, family, responsibilities, and so much more will fight to pull your core in so many alternate directions. Spend quality time with yourself. Time is single most valuable thing you possess, and make sure you spend some of that on yourself learning the differences between your own wants vs. your needs. It will mark the line between what you compromise on vs. what you settle for.
Learn How to Fail
The culture you’re surrounded in will inundate you with images of success surrounded by blank stares of manufactured happiness and material goods. That same culture fueled by the modern internet will mercilessly victimize anyone or anything that didn’t achieve the exact results they were setting out for. In fact, a person could hit their actual intended results and still be crucified.
The fear of failing prevents so many people from reaching their potential, when as Farrah Gray put it, everything we truly want lies on the other side of fear. Learn how to fail. Understand that each and every failure on the road of persistence and focus is one block closer to your success.
Choose Your Spouse Wisely
“Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.
The decision a person makes to legally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, sexually, and romantically bind themselves with another person for the entirety of their life must be the single most important choice they will make next to which God to serve.
Their choices and worldviews become embedded into the place you call home and vice versa. You are bound in the most intimate and sincere meaning of the word. Be true to your values and your identity at all times, and make sure your identity allows ample and genuine space for your new identity to flourish organically. If you don’t see a space for yourself and them to be genuine whole individuals for the next 50+ years, don’t be afraid to alter course, seek guidance, or work harder on yourself.
The choice to give your time, the rest of your time on earth, to another individual is the most precious thing you could bestow on someone. Choose and accept wisely.
BMWK – what things do you want your children to know?