By: Teri Bethel
Do you want changes made in certain areas of your spouse’s life and believe with all your heart that those changes will bring harmony in your marriage? This is perhaps a common thought and you are in no way alone in it. But does it make your thought accurate? It really doesn’t.
Have you decided to help God out because He was not moving fast enough on your behalf? Maybe you think He has dementia and is not all-knowing as the scriptures claim. Therefore you feel you must do your part in helping to fix the broken areas of your spouse’s life.
The problem is not the problem; it is how you handle it.
Perhaps it’s safe to say that you may be missing a few key elements here. It could be that:
- You don’t know God as well as you think you do
- You don’t trust God; or you would not interfere in what you have asked Him to do
- You resent God; you feel He has not come to relieve you of your problem
So here are three secrets to getting your marriage fixed!
Secret #1 – MYOB- Mind your own business
Though it can be quite tempting to criticize the behavior of others, God has not required us to work on anyone except ourselves. What is it that He is whispering in your heart to do about your life that you have not done yet? Why is the onus on your spouse to correct themselves; what is your part in the process?
If your spouse does make the necessary changes for the betterment of him/herself and for your marriage, how long do you think the honeymoon will last if you haven’t made the necessary adjustments in your own life?
International speaker and life coach, Dr. Myles Munroe says on many occasions that a marriage is like an omelet; and an omelet is only as good as the eggs in it. What some people try to do is to change their spouses who may or may not be the source of their woes. What the Father wants you to do is to focus on improving yourself. If you’ve got it all together then maybe you need help in how you respond to the issues. The problem is not the problem; it is how you handle it.
Secret #2 – Take care of you!
You being whole and walking with God will be the best gift you can give yourself and your marriage. My advice to you is to stop trying to fix your spouse; leave that to God. Present your concerns to Him and allow Him to do the work in your spouse’s life.
So here’s what you can do to help your situation:
- Get to know the Lord by spending time in the word; a great place to start is the book of John
- Focus on being the person God created you to be
- Put aside condemning your spouse for anything they have done
- Stop speaking ill of your spouse
- Put an end to rehashing the past
- Present your concerns to the Lord in prayer and allow Him to work on your behalf
- Focus on developing yourself spiritually, professionally and physically
Secret #3 – Release your past and pray!
You will never move forward in your relationship if you are holding on to the past. Release it to the Lord and pray this prayer:
Father, I release myself, my spouse (call their name) and our marriage to you. I give you full access to my heart, my mind and body. I ask you to teach me how to renew my mind so that I am able to apply your word effectively to my life. I deny evil and all wicked influences access to me and my relationship with my spouse. I give you full access to love through me in my home from this moment on, in Jesus’ name,
Amen
God bless you, and remember that only the truth you apply can be effective in your life.
BMWK, are you working on yourself or your spouse?
Teri M. Bethel serves as the Director of the Kingdom Marriage Enrichment Ministries alongside her husband Tellis. Teri is passionate about sharing the message of hope with couples who are interested in having the best marriage ever! By profession Teri is an artsy couture handbag designer, textile artist and instructor who enjoys sharing her purse making secrets. The couple has 2 sons and resides in Nassau, Bahamas. www.BfmMarriage.com