SUBMISSION… is one of those dirty words in the Bible that make women cringe…and distort their top lip. It triggers a guttural reaction.
If you’re a man, you’ll want to pay attention. If you’re a woman, it’s likely, you’re reading this article to see how wrong I am (and thus, slay me in the comments section below).
And I understand why the notion of a wife submitting to a husband is grotesque to some.
For three generations, the traditional marriage structure in the African American community has shifted. According to some statistics, the black single mother household doubled in the 80s. Our society has now become accustomed to those female-headed homes, along with co-parenting situations and other non-traditional family constructs.
For 60+ years, some of these women have seen and experienced their grandmothers, mothers, and aunts-and-ems run their families. And in many of these same households, the absent men were either demonized, trivialized or emasculated. So, the idea that a man should be knighted as an authority-figure to submit to (a position he did not earn nor deserves in the eyes of many of these women) is absolutely ridiculous.
So how can you make this type of woman come to terms with submission when all her experiences speak strongly of independent females and negatively of men?
Coming to Terms with Submission
Submission is a commandment that’s in the Bible. So, if you’re a Christian wife (or want to be one), you have to come to terms with submitting to your husband—not whether to do it, but how you do it.
Every Christian woman I’ve ever talked to has her own way of how she comes to terms with submitting. And every way is different.
I’ve been married for 18 years myself. In our marriage, my wife submits to me as the head of our household, even though she’s 5 years older than me and has always made more money than me. So how did I get her to want to do it?
3 Sure-Fire Ways to Make Your Wife Want to Submit to You
1. Have a Plan
When you proposed to your wife, you were essentially proposing your plan for your lives together. Whatever you said while on bended-knee, that’s what she’s saying “yes” to.
So, you had better have a plan for how to make that happen, captain. Don’t return home from your honeymoon and be like, “Okay, we’re married now. Let me know if you need anything. Love youuuu!”
Agree on a procedural process prior to your walk down the aisle, in which you sort out wife-husband roles, responsibilities and expectations. Be clear in what honoring the “man” as the head of household looks like.
2. When making plans, know your planning is more important than your plan
!IMPORTANT! Women ain’t stupid. They can manage their lives themselves. They can tell, by what you say and what you do if your plan is gonna work or not. They also have very strong opinions on what’s wrong with it, how to fix it and how to fix you.
So, don’t reject her input or dismiss her opinions because you’re too wedded to your plan. In your planning, you must include her input, expertise and opinions about your plans, and you. After all, her ideas might be better than yours.
3. Address her interests in your planning before she does
If a woman knows you have her best interest in mind, she will be willing to trust you and follow your lead. Therefore, in your planning, make sure you address her needs, concerns, fears and interests before she does.
You bring it up, not her! You don’t have to have the solutions to everything. But, addressing them in your planning before she does, shows her that you understand and are concerned about the things that are important to her. If she feels you understand her concerns, then she’ll trust you and be willing to follow your lead.
It’s a lot of work. Indeed. But if you have a plan for how you’re going to create the life you proposed to her, include her input in your planning, and address her concerns before she does, then you’ve created the sure-fire environment that will make your wife want to submit to you.
BMWK — Ladies: let me…and the brothers…know. Will this make you want to submit to your husband?