Sometimes, my husband gets on my last nerve. I don’t care how wonderful I think he is (and he is wonderful), he is human. He has the capacity to work my nerves. But I’m no fool. I am certain I can do the same. There is no doubt in my mind that I get on his nerves, too.
And although getting on each other’s nerves is pretty common in even the happiest marriages, it does make me wonder if we need to get on each other’s nerves as much as we do. I find myself thinking about all the little things people do to sabotage their relationships. What can start off with tugging on someone’s nerves can really damage a relationship if it goes unaddressed.
Couples everywhere are struggling to make things work, and it’s often because they don’t realize that manageable issues can snowball into huge issues because no one is self-aware enough to acknowledge what’s wrong.
And what’s so special about acknowledging what’s wrong?
Well, once you acknowledge what’s wrong, you can then make an effort to change.
Now if you are anything like me, you didn’t get married only to have things go downhill over some bullsh*t. My guess is that you want your marriage to last. You want it to have a fighting chance.
You didn’t get married only to have things go downhill over some bullsh*t.
That’s exactly what I want. I want to do whatever I can so my marriage can stand the test of time.
So, in an effort to help you (and myself) here are 3 things we all need to do if we want our marriages to have a fighting chance.
Understand Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a fundamental part of any successful marriage. You have to learn how to forgive your spouse and yourself. And you also have to learn how to ask for forgiveness. Even if you married someone who is beyond awesome, I guarantee that at some point in your marriage you will have to forgive him or her for some wrongdoing. I can also guarantee that you’ll need to be forgiven for something as well. Forgiveness is a part of the human experience. Understanding and embracing the importance of that principle will take your marriage a long way.
Listen More Than You Speak
Effective communication is key. Unfortunately, lots of people think that communicating effectively is about conveying their point of view clearly and concisely. And although that is part of it, one of the most important aspects of effective communication is your ability to listen well. If you are unable to truly listen to what your spouse has to say, your marriage will suffer. Listening isn’t always easy but with some determination and practice, we can all become better listeners, giving our marriages a true shot at lasting a lifetime.
HOW TO LEARN BETTER COMMUNICATION:
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Nurture Yourself
If you are waiting for our spouse to make you happy, you are in trouble. A spouse can add joy to your life through the experiences you share, but you are responsible for your own happiness. You have to know how to love yourself. Once you master that, your marriage gets stronger. You stop expecting your spouse to give you things that you should really be expecting from yourself. Nurture your friendships. Take care of your body. Pursue your dreams. Manage your mental health. Do things that will help you be your best self. Through doing that, you will become a better spouse and your marriage will thrive.
BMWK family, what can you do to give your marriage a fighting chance?