Sometimes in marriage, you may realize you are not getting what you want out of it. Sometimes you may wonder why your spouse isn’t giving you what you want and or need. But there are solutions to your dilemma. Below I’ve listed three ways to get what you want out of your marriage.
1. Set realistic goals for your marriage.
What do I mean by realistic goals? Well, don’t expect your spouse to give you everything. You know their limitations or you will soon enough. For instance, if you know date night three times a week is impossible, shoot for weekly or twice a month. Also, daily lovemaking may not be realistic either, regardless if you have kids at home or not. You may have to do some negotiating.
2. Ask.
Your spouse cannot read your mind so ask for what you want. If you want more intimacy, ask for it. I had to tell my husband I needed more intimacy. And because he wasn’t an affectionate person, he had no clue I wanted it. He complied (smile.) If your spouse asks you for something he or she needs, listen and if possible, give it to them. When you ask for what you want, make your requests clear so your spouse will be clear on what to give you.
3. Give something in return.
Again you will have to negotiate. Don’t make your marriage all about you. Be willing to give your spouse something in return. For instance, if you want your husband to go shopping with you, be willing to go to a sporting event with him.
Hopefully the above tips help you get what you want out of your marriage. Just keep in mind that you may not get everything you want, but with effective communication you may get most things.
BMWK family, what are your suggestions for getting what you want out of your marriage?