Everyone makes mistakes – you, me, everybody. However, when a mistake can be avoided just by learning the lesson from someone else, by all means learn the lesson. My mom used to say, “I’ve already been down that road, you don’t want to go there.”
Here are four roads you don’t want to go down in your marriage.
Going to bed angry.
Don’t do it. When you lay in bed angry you are robbed of rest and the closeness of your mate. You have opened your mind to countless crazy thought. Many of them unfounded and based purely on emotion; building tension and making things worse. You on one side of the bed and your mate on the other.
Instead of going to bed angry agree to disagree by calling a cease fire. Table the disagreement and set a date and time to readdress the issue. Go to bed knowing that the issue is not greater than your love for one another. Sleep close together and hold each other tight.
Folks can’t tell you what they would do if they were in your position because they are not in your position.
Sharing your business with too many people.
The private affairs of your marriage should be just that, private. Sharing your business with too many people leads to too many opinions that can cloud your thinking. Folks can’t tell you what they would do if they were in your position because they are not in your position.
Instead of over-sharing have a close confidant or counselor who is unbiased in their advice. Someone who will give wise counsel based on principle and not opinion. Your pastor or a marriage advocate is generally a far better choice than your best friend. Friends have their place but ask yourself do they belong in the middle of your marriage.
Keeping secrets.
Keeping secrets is the beginning of hiding things. Once you start hiding things it sets you up for division in your marriage. I’m not talking about keeping a secret to surprise your spouse with a gift. That sort of thing is done out of love. I’m talking about the pair of shoes you sneak in the house so he doesn’t know you spent more money, or that thing your son did and you’re hiding it from his mother. These are things that seem innocent but can quickly grow out of hand.
Instead of keeping secrets tell the truth in love without malice. Hold yourself to a standard of being open and honest with your mate. If it’s something you don’t want your mate to find out about, don’t do it. Little secrets lead to big secrets.
Letting go of your friendship.
Friendship can slowly fade if the cares of each day begin to take over your life. Work, school, the kids, church, volunteer activities, the bills, the in-laws and much more can rob you of time together. Before you realize what has happened your friendship has died and been replaced with functional tasks.
Instead of letting go of your friendship protect it. Continue to talk and have conversations just because. Go back to the place when you would talk for hours about absolutely nothing. Set a time to discuss family business so the business side of marriage doesn’t take over your lives. Have fun together. Make love often. Laugh away the stresses and remain friends.
BMWK family have you ever fallen into one of these mistakes and made your way out?