Shortly after my husband and I started dating, he had to travel three long months for work. At the time, I thought it was the longest three months of my life. It made me think I wasn’t cut out for a long-distance relationship. I thought there could never be anything good that comes from being away from your significant other.
But now after being married for more than ten years, I’ve realized that being away from my spouse can and has strengthened our marriage in ways I wasn’t expecting. Sometimes I have to travel a lot and sometimes he has to work a lot. There are days that even if I’m home, we may not have but an hour or two a day (if that) to spend together because of our work schedules. But instead of the absences damaging our relationship, it actually has made us grow stronger as a unit. What they say is so true: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
So I thought I would share these three reasons why being away from your spouse can actually strengthen your marriage:
Your Romance Increases
When you’re away from your spouse for any extended amount of time, the everyday/normal routines just don’t cut it. You want to find other ways to be stay and feel connected. Maybe it’s slipping a treat or letter in their lunch bag or suitcase, so they are surprised when they reach their destination.
Your Love Grows Deeper
When you don’t get to spend a lot of time with your spouse, chances are you express yourself in more ways than when you spend a lot of time with them. You tend to share more about how much you miss them and love them. You are generally more aware of not wasting time, fussing when you are together because you understand the limitations on time. Instead of fussin’ and fighting, you spend more time laughing and loving (and hey, after any extended period of time away, the sex is just better).
Your Daily Rituals Evolve
Even if we can’t talk, my husband and I will always text each other “goodnight” whether we’re in the same town or not. If I don’t hear from him, I get worried and vice versa. But something as small as this can strengthen your bond and let your spouse know that you’re thinking of them. So maybe your ritual is having morning coffee or tea together. Maybe it’s catching a ride to the train station, so you can connect and chat on the way there in the mornings. If you’re not together, maybe it’s scheduling daily time to get on FaceTime or Google Hangout to catch each other up for the day. It can be anything simple.
BMWK, in what ways do you strengthen your marriage when life forces you to spend time apart?