Sometimes when I think about life, I think about Andre the Giant, that big grizzly wrestler from back in the day that beat his opponents by squeezing the life out them. You know what I mean: Life can be smooth sailing for a moment and then BAM, you see it take your loved one…and in the case of this article, your husband, by the scruff of his neck and slam him hard— attempting to knock out all of the hope and strength out of him.
When your husband hits the mat—whether it be a job loss, an illness, financial setback, career challenge, or any of the other things in life that could make a strong black man wanna holla, it becomes up to us, the wives whose roles also include chief motivator and friend, to serve up major support to protect them.
Here are five things that he may need to hear from you when he is down for the count:
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This is confirmation that the conversation I just had with my husband was right on point. I said every one of these things and then some. We will be alright.
I am glad to hear! Even if he does not show it, your love and support is what he really needs.
Wow! This article in on point. We’re going through a tough season right now, but I’m reminded that nothing is too hard for God! Because of God, I can encourage my husband to stay strong and no matter what, we’re in this together! God is going to see us through! Believe that:)
Thanks, Kena. (that’s a pretty name, too). And you are right, you are in it together and based on what you shared, I am confident that you two will emerge stronger.
As a man, I must say this is good advice – especially the part about making him feel wanted. When it’s rough in the world and a man feels rejected/abused/etc., it’s nice to feel and know your woman at home still wants you. This helps build the confidence to go back out there and keep fighting. Many women underestimate – or don’t understand – the power that has and it’s about more than a man wanting to “get one off.”
I’d also add that it’s critical that wive/girlfriends/fiances show their man that HE has her emotional attention. What do I mean? Whenever a man does manage to open up and share what he’s going through, some women automatically begin to compare it to something they are experiencing and hijack the conversation:
Man: “I had another rough day at work. I’m thinking about…” Woman: “…speaking of work, can you believe Carol in finance…” and the next 45 minutes is spent talking about her day. Not wanting to appear overly emotional, the guy won’t revisit whatever he was talking about.
I understand that many women are wired to “share and relate,” but understand that when a man doesn’t feel like his woman is recognizing the feelings he’s struggling to share – a.k.a. listening to him – he shuts down.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the great advice, I’m definitely taking notes!!!
Thank you for the much needed advice, definitely taking notes!!
I say all of these things to him all the time, and I do have faith in him. He proves to me time and time again that we are going to make it out of any tight spot, so now I really do not worry when things get hard for us. He enjoys a good challenge, I just support him.
Rollo! My main man! Ive been trying my hardest to get my wife to understand that entire concept for years! I thought it was just me. Even the counselors that ive spoken to were in the dark in this point and they are aupposed to be the so-called professionals. When i bring it up its almost as if a light bulb comes on and they have that a-ha moment like they just did something!
Everyone finally gets it… Except for the one that i truly need to get it! Ive made mistakes as well but i acknowledge them and try to hear what her concerns are. I just feel like its not being reciprocated.
This was encouraging and beautiful, I am so glad that the men contributed as well, so we know what to do and how to be supportive.
Thank you for this article.
May I simply just say what a comfort to uncover
somebody that actually knows what they’re talking about online.
You actually realize how to bring an issue to light
and make it important. More people should check this out and understand
this side of the story. I was surprised you’re not more popular given that you
surely possess the gift.