NEWSFLASH LADIES…MEN want to feel desired too!!!! Okay, now that I’ve gotten your attention, let me back up.
I often say that everybody wants to matter to somebody, and I say that because we all have this human desire to belong. Well, when we get into relationships and marriages, that doesn’t change.
When we first meet someone, we do everything we can to make sure the person we are with feels wanted and desired, and it’s not hard to do. It’s not hard because our hormones are on 100, lust is in the air and the art of the chase is still fresh.
As time progresses, the common narrative is that men stop making their women feel desired. But as I speak with more and more folks, I’m realizing the opposite is true!
Many men are suffering from NDD (or what I call No Desire Disorder). It may come as a surprise, ladies, because he may not have mentioned anything to you. This is likely because he didn’t want to come off as “needy” or “soft.”
Sometimes NND comes across as attitude, passive aggressive behavior or a desire for attention from other women (yeah I said it!); it isn’t just him being a bad man or a dog. Sometimes, it’s him being human and crying out for attention.
There are a million platforms telling men how to make their women feel desired but here are a few tips for you, ladies, who may have men suffering from NDD!
1) We like compliments too!
Ladies, you know how good it feels when your man notices you, right? When he notices the new outfit, a new hairstyle, your workout results and he compliments you on it, it feels good, right?
Well, sometimes your man wants you to notice him too! Give him a compliment on his new haircut, bigger biceps, different cologne or just about something he has done great as a man or as a mate…ANYTHING! It’s not about stroking his ego, but it’s about taking time to notice.
2) Get touchy feely like you used to
Remember when you used to sit on his lap all the time or stroke his neck and back or when your hands wandered all over whenever he was in arm’s reach? Remember the play fights that turned into intense love making sessions? Yeah, that stuff…ALL THAT STUFF…start doing that again! Trust me, it will get the juices flowing and keep a smile on your man’s face, a big one.
3) Take some interest in his hobbies
If you support a man in his endeavors, it shows you believe in him. And when he feels like you believe in him, he feels desired. Instead of knocking everything he finds interest in and saying it’s a waste of time and money, maybe try engaging in it with him.
If he loves playing basketball, maybe go see his game and be a cheerleader. If he loves video games, maybe ask him if you can play with him sometimes. You don’t have to become an expert in the things he loves, but a little interest never hurts.
4) Catch him doing something right sometimes
So often, many men are left feeling like they can’t ever get anything right when it comes to their spouses. That doesn’t make a man feel desired; it makes him feel like a burden to you, and there isn’t anything sexy about that. Instead of pointing out his flaws, maybe revisit some of the things you actually love about him. I mean aren’t you with him for a reason!?
5) INITIATE SEX…INITIATE SEX…INITIATE SEX!!
Ladies one of the sexiest things you can do is make your man feel desired by initiating the loving. I have yet to hear a man say he doesn’t like to be pursued by his woman.
Men want to feel desired as well, and men want to feel like they still do it for you. Oh, if you’re waiting on the perfect time to do this…ANYTIME is the perfect time…trust me!
Ladies, don’t allow your man to suffer from NDD. Just know that he wants to feel desired just like you do. When you have two people in a relationship who feel like they matter to each other, it’s amazing how much better things are!
BMWK, what ways do you most appreciate when your spouse shows you love and attention?