I know my husband loves me. If I weren’t sure about that, I never would have said, “I do.” He made his love for me clear long before our wedding day. And even though I am clear about how he feels, it’s still nice to hear it from time to time. A sweet reminder always makes me smile.
But as nice as it is to hear, saying “I love you” can’t be the only way my husband expresses his affection for me. If that’s all he’s got, I’m not impressed. Words are great, but they can’t sustain any relationship. Imagine if you told your kids you love them but failed to provide the care they needed. What good would your words be in that instance?
So yes, I want men to tell their wives how special they are and how much they love them, but I need those same men to stop acting like their words are enough to strengthen their relationships. I need those same men to step it up and do more for the women they profess to love. True love is not about uttering a phrase. True love is about action.
Here are five things your wife needs from you more than your “I love you.”
Your Appreciation
Show me a woman who truly feels appreciated by her husband, and I will show you a woman who is probably in a happy relationship. At our core, we all want to feel like the people we love appreciate all of the things we do. If your wife holds things down, but you rarely acknowledge it because you think that’s just what she does, you will end up with a woman who feels underappreciated. That’s never a good thing. Show and tell your wife you appreciate all she does. It matters to her, and it will have a positive impact on your marriage.
Your Time
Even if your job is demanding and life is crazy, make time for your wife. When couples fail to spend quality time together, it’s damaging. Take your wife on a date, cook with her, talk to her. By making the time to connect with her, despite how crazy things are, you are nurturing your marriage in a way that words can’t.
Your Support
We all need to feel supported. And this doesn’t mean that you agree with your wife all the time. It simply means you care enough to engage in a conversation, so you can understand her point of view and offer support where she needs it most. You are her rock, and although it seems like she can hold things down without your support, it’s so much easier and healthier for her to move through life knowing—without a doubt—that you have her back.
Your Friendship
I don’t think your wife needs to be your best friend, but I do believe she needs to be a great friend. You need to chill with her and laugh with her and confide in her. If your wife starts to feel like you only have fun when she’s not around, it hurts. Having healthy friendships outside of your marriage is very important, but nurturing a healthy, fun-loving friendship within your marriage is even more important.
Your Help
Please help your wife. Don’t watch her cook, clean, wash clothes, make appointments and juggle the kids without your help. Yes, she should just ask you for help if she needs it, but that’s hard for most women. It would be nice if you just acknowledged her day-to-day hustle and offered to step in and lighten her load. When your wife is going through loads of laundry, saying “what can I do to help?” means a lot more than a random, “I love you, babe.”
BMWK women, what else can your husbands do to show you they love you?