What makes life interesting is also what makes life so painful at times; we are never certain what’s around the corner. The cornerstone of our existence as human beings is that life is unpredictable. Things happen that we didn’t anticipate, and how we react and cope determines the quality of our lives.
If you know a married couple that’s been married for a long time, they can probably share countless stories about all the unexpected experiences they’ve faced. From job loss to death to an unexpected pregnancy, their lives have probably been filled with moments when they found themselves unprepared.
And that’s okay. Even the best of us can’t be prepared for everything. Yet, despite that fact, we can develop a strategy that allows us to face the unexpected moments in life with confidence and grace. With a powerful strategy in hand, we are able to take the right steps whenever we need to. And with each right step we develop the courage and wisdom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
So whether your unexpected moment is a blessing you didn’t plan for, or a tragedy that has left you feeling lost and confused, remember that with the right tools in hand, you can cope with all of it. Coping together is what makes a marriage stronger and happier. The ability to look the unexpected in the face and say, “ We weren’t ready for this, but we will be able to manage it together,” is what helps marriages stand the test of time.
Here are five tips that can help you and your spouse cope with some of the most unexpected moments in life.
Build the best tribe you can
Nothing helps us manage life’s ups and downs like having a strong tribe in place. Your tribe is the group of people you can turn to for anything. You trust them. You know their hearts. You believe they will always help you, and you know you will do the same for them.
When you build a solid tribe, you don’t feel compelled to deal with life alone. Your tribe celebrates with you when something good happens. They help you see the good in something that’s seemingly bad. And they help you manage the pain and cope when tragedy strikes. Make the effort to build a tribe and work on sustaining your relationship with them. A great tribe goes a long way.
Make prayer the center of your lives
I firmly believe in the power of prayer, and no one can tell me otherwise. When you make God and prayer the center of your life and your marriage, you can never go wrong.
Now this doesn’t mean that life will be easy because God never promised us that. But it does mean that life will always be manageable. We will always find the strength to cope through Him. Remember that what you view as unexpected is something God already saw coming your way. Only He can equip you with what you need to fight the good fight.
Give each day your best
When something unexpected happens, we tend to look back and wonder if there is something we should have done differently or better. I believe that if you wake up everyday and truly do your best, you won’t have to struggle with those feelings. Your best will vary from day to day, but that’s okay.
As long as you know that you wake up and truly give the day the best you’ve got, you will be more prepared to deal with days that are not what you expected. You won’t be faced with feelings of doubt or regret. You will just roll up your sleeves and give the unexpected situation your best because that is what you’ve been doing for so long.
Do something that scares you every day
When something unexpected happens—good or bad—our initial reaction tends to be fear. We are scared that we won’t make the right move. We are scared that we don’t have the right tools to handle things. But if we wake up every day and decide to do something that scares us, we begin to develop a strategy to conquer fear.
With each day we become more courageous. That courage will come in handy when life decides to dish the unexpected your way. Don’t let fear win. Be prepared to stare it in the face so you can move onward and upward.
Learn the lesson in every experience
When we have an experience, and we completely miss the lesson within that experience, it will show up in our lives over and over again. I know because this has happened to me. But when we slow down enough to see the lesson and learn it, we develop new skills that will serve us well later in life. Take the time to learn the lessons in all your life experiences because those are the lessons that will give you the skills you need to handle all the unexpected moments you have ahead.
BMWK couples, how do you cope with life’s unexpected moments?