By: Zebony LaVie
I have been active throughout most of my life. I enjoyed general exercise, and even taught a Zumba class for a while. So my husband was not surprised when I told him that I was interested in pursuing body building. If I was going to do it, I figured I should start soon because I sure wasn’t getting any younger. Body Building was something l had loosely “dreamed” about in my college years and now, two kids and a ten year-old marriage later, I wondered if this dream would ever actually materialize.
I explained to my husband that I still wanted more kids, and I thought that maybe I should have more children first, and then pursue body building. But my husband quickly decided that he wasn’t ready for more children, and he encouraged me to begin training immediately! So I began doing my research, and when I decided to become a Physique Competitor, a whole new fitness journey with my husband began.
My husband, being a man that was physically active, who had been weight training most of his life, he decided that he would train me. I trusted my husband’s training because he knew how to achieve results. But I now had to transition from my husband’s wife, to my husband’s client four times a week.
During this journey, I learned many unexpected things. And overall, my journey to a second place trophy in my first Physique Body Building Competition opened up several new doors to my marriage that seemed to be hidden before. My husband and I were both getting great workouts together, we were eating better, and we were working towards a common goal together.
We developed a camaraderie that I never knew could exist between us. We were members at a gym that offered reasonably priced child care. So our training time, although very challenging and purpose-driven, became a much anticipated “alone time” for us. Between grunts and reps, we used the opportunity to catch up with each other’s day.
Due to the beautiful experience I had, and the experience that I have observed other couples having, I strongly encourage married couples to work out together. It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous like weight training. But general exercise together will do wonders for your body, as well as your marriage. I recommend the following tips to help achieve success in the gym with your spouse (success being defined as awesome physical results, as well as a new level of intimacy between a couple that has never experienced before).
Always Have a Goal
Each partner can have their own individual goal, but it is important to also have a common goal that both partners are working towards together. For example, in addition to each partner’s desire to lose weight, deeper than this might be the fact that one spouse has diabetes. It can become the responsibility of both spouses to meet the goal of sweating and working together in order to help the ailing spouse diminish the symptoms of their disease.
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
When times get hard, physically and/or emotionally, keep reminding yourself of the common goal that you two share. So when you have those days when you are at each other’s throats, it’s important to remind yourself of why you are working out together in the first place.
Put Forth an Effort to Truly Enjoy Your “Alone” Time
Although a lot of what you two will be doing together will cause pain (exercise-wise), there will still be times in between where you can squeeze in kisses and hugs. Or you can chit-chat with each other about things that you normally wouldn’t have the opportunity to talk about due to a busy lifestyle.
Encourage Each Other
You have the opportunity and the potential to be your spouse’s biggest fan! You also have the opportunity to truly help your spouse change his or her life for the better. Not only will his/her healthier lifestyle bring about a personal benefit for your spouse, but won’t you enjoy a nicer, firmer and toner body on your spouse as well?
Finish the Race
Simply put, accomplish your goals. Don’t let yourself or your spouse leave the task unfinished. Once you’ve set realistic goals for yourselves, encourage each other to go until the end. And once you’ve both met the first goal, then set another.
Even though your fitness journey with your spouse probably won’t end up like mine, I can guarantee you that there is still a lot of potential that you have yet to tap into. It is there waiting…waiting for the moment when you will choose a lifestyle of working hard together. This potential is there waiting for the moment when you will allow yourselves to be vulnerable with each other, as you get lost in your vigorous workouts, sweating alongside one other. Your potential is waiting. Your health is waiting. Your marriage is waiting. You don’t have to wait anymore; you can encourage your spouse today to unlock your potential.
BMWK, are you ready to get fit with your spouse?