When you feel hurt over and over again, when your desires are not meet time after time, what do you do? You want someone who is glad to see you when you come home. Someone who buys you a small gift every now and then, it doesn’t have to be anything expensive. It can be a candy bar; just something that says, “I was on your mind.” A text that says I love you.
Year after year and nothing has changed except the disappointment of unmet expectations cuts just a little deeper. Something has to change. This doesn’t feel good. How do I/we make a change? Where do I begin?
Have you heard this scenario before from a friend or maybe it’s your truth? It’s not uncommon, even in a good marriage, to have unfulfilled expectations and desires left unmet. Let’s look at several potential places to begin finding a solution. Start with the six tips stated here. Modify them to fit your marriage.
- Communicate your desires to your mate. Sit and have a heart to heart talk. Express your sincere requests.
- Remind your mate of what you need from them. Don’t nag. Just offer a friendly reminder.
- Have realistic expectations. Introspect; make sure your expectations are realistic and attainable. Examine yourself to see if you are placing a burden on your mate that they are incapable of meeting. This may be something you need to work on based on your own insecurities.
- Be willing to change. This goes for both mates. There are some things that you may need to change. The same goes for your mate. Have a willing and open heart. Be willing to change for the betterment of you and your marriage.
- Fulfill the desire for yourself and drop the expectation of your mate. Free your mate and free yourself. It will lift the weight put on them and remove the unmet expectation for you because you have already taken care of it.
- Hold on to the good while you are waiting for things to change. If you must dwell on something dwell on the good. This doesn’t mean that the challenge doesn’t exist. It simply means you have a choice to what you will dwell on. Choose to dwell on the good.
These six helpful hints will require you to believe in your mate. Believe that they will do what is right for your marriage. Know that even though you haven’t seen change in your marriage or your mate, change is possible. Hope and faith are alive.
You know your situation best. Take the six statements above and use them to benefit your marriage. Change them as needed. This article is talking about overcoming disappointments. It is not speaking to overcoming abuse. They are two very different things. Work through disappointments and unmet desires. Get away from abuse.
BMWK, Are you willing to take the first step towards working through disappointments?