1. How crazy the in-laws can be. For some reason, when you’re dating, you don’t concern yourself with your significant other’s family much. Sure they can be a little annoying at times, but that’s their problem, not yours. But once you get married, all of a sudden you realize that big Uncle Kevin (you know the one with the habit of hugging you a bit too long after he’s had a few drinks?)”....well, he’s your family too now.
2. Arguments are useless. Arguments are usually not about the problem at hand, but about one person trying to sway the other over to their side. It’s about who’s right and who’s wrong, which is never a productive way to solve a problem.
3. Regular sex keeps the marriage strong. Nuff said.
4. Kids change the dynamic, but for the better (hopefully). True, you can’t lounge in bed all day Saturday but you get to see a different side of your partner. When you were dating, you probably didn’t think that the same man who refused to buy you tampons would be the same guy standing by your head cheering you on as you push out your kid into the world.
5. Work is more important, but leave the stress at work. Once we were a legally binding unit, all of a sudden I felt more pressure to make more money. I needed to contribute to the “household” now versus just handling my own separate bills. But I couldn’t become a workaholic and bring loads of files home with me every night. I learned to be more productive during the workday so I could spend quality time with my sweetie at night.
6. It’s hard work keeping the fires hot. (See #3.) You have to be willing to lay down all the arguments (see #2) and stress of the workweek (see #5) to be able to just relax and unwind with your partner. If you can’t, then your marriage is in for a rough ride.
7. I had to relax my standards. No longer would I complain for three weeks that he wasn’t romantic enough because he didn’t spend his evenings writing me original poetry. Instead I began to see the romance in every day gestures, like when he would put the groceries up without me asking, or when he would sneak in a quick back rub when passing me in the kitchen.
8. Regular.sex. Okay?