I am a firm believer in the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated. But oftentimes in relationships, we don’t put this rule into practice! Many times, we don’t step back to think about how we would feel if our spouse treated us the way that we treat them.
So let’s step back and think of some things that we need to take into consideration!
1. What if your spouse never made you a priority?
As relationships mature, everything else in life tends to take priority over the person that your world used to revolve around. Work, church, kids, and family, all become the priority while your spouse is begging for attention. You may not even be conscious that your doing this. But, what if your spouse always made you the afterthought? How would that make you feel?
READ: A Clear Sign that Your Spouse Needs Your Attention
2. What if your spouse was “overly friendly” with other people?
You call it being nice, but your spouse sees it as you flirting and leaving the door open to infidelity. That work wife/husband or maybe that person from your past on social media tends to get a little too much of your attention lately. What if your spouse had those same types of “friends?” Would you approve or blow a gasket?
3. What if your spouse never consulted you before spending shared money?
It starts with a pair of shoes, or purse, that extra watch and that harmless sports jersey. And next thing you know, you are making high dollar purchases without ever consulting your mate. You’re pretty much committing financial infidelity, but you see nothing wrong because you bring money into the house as well. Right? Well, what if your spouse kept spending money without ever considering you?
READ: Financial Infidelity: What’s Out Of Bounds?
4. What if your spouse never showed any appreciation?
You invest so much time and energy into supporting your family, spouse and children, yet your spouse never takes time to say THANK YOU! What if you put in all of that energy daily, but your spouse decided it wasn’t worth a simple and occasional thank you? Even worse… what if they just said “well that’s what you’re supposed to do!” Ouch!
5. What if your spouse never spent any time with the kids?
You both agreed to have kids and start a family. Yet, you never take time to spend with the kids. You don’t show up to events or even help take care of the daily activities that come along with being parents. If your spouse did that what would you think about them?
6. What if your spouse allowed his/her family to disrespect you?
Your spouse’s family gives you a hard time about everything. They don’t respect your time, your parenting, your relationship, or privacy. What if your spouse sat around and allowed that to consistently happen? How would you feel about that? Would you still respect them?
7. What if your spouse never did anything around the house?
What if the house was always a mess because your spouse never cleaned anything or never picked up after him or herself? What if they never cooked or washed clothes? What if none of the bills got paid? Would you look at your spouse differently then?
8. What if your spouse never noticed you?
What if your spouse never noticed when you changed your hair, got some new clothes, or put in work at the gym? What if you got a promotion at work, but they never acknowledge it or congratulate you? What if they never notice that new fragrance you’ve been wearing? How might you feel if they became blind to you?
9. What if your spouse never wanted to have sex with you?
What if every time you came on to your mate they were “too tired?” What if they had a headache every night? What if you never felt like they desired you or was attracted to you? What if even when they did have sex with you it felt like they couldn’t wait for it be over? How would that make you feel about yourself?
My point in this article is that sometimes we have to get back to the basics of considering things from our spouse’s perspective. After all, relationships aren’t all about you!
BMWK fam, what are some other “What If’s” you would add to this list?