It’s a total waste of time to try and make your spouse or your relationship perfect. There will be times when all you can do is pray.
This is just a nugget of wisdom my husband and I share with couples during pre-marital and marital counseling. In particular, the engaged couples who only see roses and rainbows need to know that their marriage will be far from perfect. Although it might feel pretty close to it as they imagine spending the rest of their lives with someone they’ve only known a few years (maybe less), at least they can refer back to their counseling notes to find the statement:
A powerful marriage is better than a perfect marriage.
Imperfections are a part of life and marriage. After 17 years of marriage, my husband and I accept imperfections, but what we don’t accept is impotence, also known as powerlessness. I am not talking about sexual powerlessness, but rather spiritual powerlessness.
Spiritual powerlessness will be the death of your marriage NOT imperfections. How so?
Well, somebody, preferably both spouses, need to know how to operate in the spirit and pray your way through the hard times.
- Somebody needs to know how to walk by faith and not by sight, because some days things won’t look as good as you would hope.
- Somebody needs to understand the power of speaking life into the marriage, so you don’t kill your union with your own words.
- Somebody needs to know God used imperfect people to do great things, and he can use an imperfect marriage too.
- Somebody needs to be a spiritual warrior in the family when the other person is low on faith.
- Somebody needs to be able to look beyond the flesh and see the spirit of the other person. When you see your spouse’s spirit, you see the best that God has put in him/her.
- Somebody needs to grab hold to the power that God has given you to move mountains and rebuke devils.
- Somebody needs to know that you are not powerless. In fact, you have more power than you even know, if only you would tap into it and then use it correctly.
I repeat, spiritual powerlessness will kill your marriage before your spouse’s imperfections. We all make mistakes in life. We all have flaws. We all fall short. No one is going to get it right all the time. But, our spiritual power makes up for our natural weaknesses.
So, I encourage you not to waste time arguing about and obsessing over each others’ flaws. Try to come to an agreement and compromise the best you can by way of love, and then move on. Because here is what I have found out, when you allow the power of the Holy Spirit in your marriage, it will change you and your spouse for the better anyway.
BMWK, how do you integrate spiritual power in your marriage?