by Phil Stevens
Sadly, marriages can drift apart because of wandering eyes on the neighbor’s lush green grass. Actually, I’m referring to temptations of the opposite sex threatening your marriage. There will ALWAYS be attractive people from the opposite sex within arm’s reach. That will not change, but don’t be fooled; this is an old trick of Satan’s. He creatively pulls us in like buying a new home. It looks bigger, brighter, better, heck… it’s just plain new!
The old house (bleh) has too many issues that need fixing, tearing down, rebuilding and remodeling. It’s basically too difficult to fix and change everything you don’t like about the old house. Ahhh… but once you are all settled into the NEW house for a while – you start to slowly uncover things you don’t like about it as well. OH NO! PANIC! Then it’s a race to fix them all, sometimes making things worse. You’re too quick to want to change things, make it perfect.
Sure, you and your spouse have differences, disagreements; things that drive you crazy about them, BUT that will not magically disappear when you hook up with someone new! Just like moving into the new house, once you get to know it – it has things you’ll want to change as well. Maybe, just maybe, it’s you that needs to change?
Before you put everything that you currently have at risk, try:
- forgiving small offenses,
- communicating clearly your expectations,
- talking through your in-differences in love,
- out serving one another,
- communicating with ‘marriage wins’ in mind,
- chasing after the same goals spiritually and morally
- seeking professional marriage counseling to help you uncover root causes and communicate better.
You’ll never regret nurturing your marriage. You’ll wish you had earlier when you see the fruit of your labor. Watch the grass begin to grow in your marriage when you start watering the grass in your own yard. The grass is greener where you water it!
BMWK – have you ever found out that “the grass is NOT greener on the other side.” When you are feeling uncertain about your relationship, what do you do to re-focus on the strengths in your marriage?
Phil Stevens is a Christ follower, happily married father, filmmaker, producer, writer & actor. Creator of Marriage Pressure Points, a film series and marriage community based on a proactive, honest, loving and graceful approach to marital conflict. His heart is to make God proud and collaborate with amazing people to make healthy – every marriage he can.