Wives let’s be honest. There are a few truths we know about the men in our lives. I recently performed a small-scale Facebook poll of wives in my circle asking them to share their husband’s dislikes. Here’s what I discovered:
Husbands could care less about all the extra details we put into our stories. They are bothered when we don’t allow them to finish their thought, when the house is disorganized, and if we don’t stay true to our word. It also stresses our husbands when we are indecisive, don’t cook often or when we just have too much material stuff. And let’s not forget when we are running late or don’t think to call them, causing unnecessary worry. All of these are real and some occur in the majority of marriages.
Knowing these truths about our spouse doesn’t make a relationship any easier. The truths above are small dislikes from a husband’s perspective. Of course there are some dislikes that can cause great challenges to our marriage. Certain behaviors aren’t always as easy to identify and are harder to change than others. While we have to be mindful of our own position in the relationship, we must also be cognizant of what doesn’t benefit us as a couple.
An ideal marriage is one where each partner is in tune with the other’s needs, wants and desires. It works when a couple is able to step out of their own role and get into the mind of their counterpart. Being aware, knowing what leads to drama and what leads to peace is the cornerstone of any relationship.
In order to act like a wife but think like a husband, we must:
- Be in tune with how our husband processes the information we share. He may not need every single detail of what happened during our day. Usually the overview is enough.
- Not be judgmental of what our husband decides to communicate. Especially when we have a husband who doesn’t share often. We need to be all ears and create a safe environment conducive of communicating his way.
- Allow them some “me time“. Just like wives, they need time for themselves. Smothering or being too needy could be a turnoff to some men. Sometimes, believe it or not, they’d rather be home watching TV than going to your girl’s sunset barbecue.
- Know what makes them jealous and ensure it never occurs in our marriage.
The main idea is to simply be aware and focused on our spouse. In order to maintain the level of peace needed for a healthy marriage, we must get in the minds of our men, as they should do with us. More effort, energy and honesty are all necessary when the goal is marriage victory.
BMWK, what are your thoughts on the idea of acting like a wife, thinking like a husband?