You may have stumbled across the quote about people being in our lives for a reason, season or lifetime. Initially when I saw the quote, some years ago, I assumed it applied to some friends, acquaintances and even coworkers. I never considered that it could also include a spouse.
For me, the lifetime was understood as it related to my marriage. However, my recent conversations on love and marriage have been somewhat contradictory to what I’ve always believed about our unions.
In my vows, it was clear that my marriage was a “til death do us part” type of commitment. I took that to heart. What I’m learning is that for others, not so much.
Some believe that marriage actually could be only for a season. That maybe they weren’t meant to last forever. Perhaps there were lessons to be learned from that marriage that people take and apply to their future relationships. I get the seasonal thinking for a dating relationship, but it puzzles me when we use it for a marriage. As we date, we learn lessons about other people, and we usually grow as individuals. But by the time we get to marriage, shouldn’t we have grown and learned all about what makes it work? Shouldn’t we be extra selective when it comes to marriage because of the level of commitment it requires?
Now what I do understand about marriage and seasons is that our marriages may experience a few of seasons within the lifetime of our unions. There will be droughts, but there will also be seasons of sun, joy and happiness. Couples have to figure out how to maximize those moments. How to make sure more of them occur in the marriage.
On the other hand, couples can’t be afraid of the droughts. For some reason, the drought makes some couples feel as though their time in the marriage has to come to an end. Droughts are normal, and they actually help make us stronger as a couple when we navigate through them successfully.
Marriage isn’t seasonal; it’s a lifetime commitment. A commitment that individuals should make sure they are ready for; it isn’t child’s play. We not only have to make sure we’re prepared, we also have to pay attention to who we’re actually marrying. Ask yourself: is this the person I can share my life with until death do us part. That’s a heavy question, but it’s one we must carefully consider prior to marrying.
BMWK, are some marriages really only meant to be for a season?