I can readily admit that my husband is not perfect.
But, in all fairness, if I am willing to admit that, I have to be honest enough to admit that neither am I. Despite my best intentions, I’ve made mistakes in our marriage.
We all make our share of mistakes in our marriages.
Do those mistakes mean I’m a bad wife? No. They don’t because none of us is perfect.
A marriage is not about being the perfect spouse, but rather:
- doing your best
- respecting the person you married
- being willing to make adjustments when things are going wrong
In every marriage there are moments when one spouse wants to straight up tell the other, “you are playing yourself.”
I’ve been there before—giving my husband the side-eye or wondering what on earth is running through his head. And, I am sure, there have been moments where he feels the same way about me. It’s natural, though. It’s a part of the journey.
But ladies, despite how much good we do for the people we love most, we have to be honest about some of the things we do that just need to stop.
Some things don’t serve us well and can actually hurt our marriage over time.
Even the best of us fall short sometimes, and when we do, we need to just admit it, assess the situation, and make a better decision next time. To help us see clearly, here are 5 things wives should stop doing:
Trying to do everything on your own
I once suffered from superwoman syndrome, so I know how harmful it can be. Ladies, we have to stop tying to do everything on our own, and we also have to stop refusing to ask for help.
Sure, it would be nice if your husband knew exactly what you needed and when you need it but it doesn’t always work that way.
You can either get angry because he’s not offering his help, or you can just ask him for it so you don’t have to feel like you are carrying weight of the world on your shoulders.
Not being honest about how you feel
If you are walking around your house feeling some sort of way because of something your husband said or did (or maybe didn’t say or didn’t do), just have a conversation with him about it.
No yelling, no attacking, no finger pointing—just a conversation to express how you feel and why you feel that way.
Putting your needs last
This goes back to the whole superwoman thing. Being exhausted and run down, while you meet the needs of everyone else around you, is no way to live.
If you can manage to put your own needs first, everyone you love—especially your husband—will benefit from being able to interact with the best version or who you are.
And honestly, always being stressed out and tired can eventually lead to illness, depression, and a number of other issues.
Telling your husband you don’t need him
No man wants to feel like the woman he married doesn’t need him for much. It’s obvious that you don’t literally need your man to survive.
That doesn’t need to be stated. But men need to feel needed. They need to feel like their presence in your life matters—a lot. Stop telling your man you don’t need him and instead, show him that you do.
Sharing your husband’s shortcomings with the world
If you think your husband is coming up short, talk to him about it. Your whole family and all of your friends really don’t need to know every flaw your man has.
When you do that, you are creating a situation where your family and friends only see him through this dark colored lens you’ve provided.
Is that what you really want? Remember, they don’t see the good parts of him that you see daily, they only remember the stories you’ve shared about how he comes up short.
BMWK ladies, what are some things you think wives need to stop doing to have a stronger marriage?