People put an exorbitant amount of time, energy and money into planning their perfect wedding: The perfect flowers, the perfect dress, the perfect location(s), the perfect rings, the perfect hairdo, the perfect honeymoon, even the perfect people in terms of imagery (looks, size, hair and sadly, even skin tone) in order to capture what they might consider the perfect wedding picture. Unfortunately, not nearly as much time and effort is put into planning the marriage. This is why many marriages are unhappy and unhealthy — and more than half end in divorce.
All of this effort is doing one thing: Feeding into a racket called the wedding industry designed to sell the illusion of happy marriages. And to the less-than-grown consumers, a perfect wedding is the precursor to a perfect marriage. Somehow, some people believe that’s how it works. Well, allow the Grown Zone to burst your fairytale – your financially irresponsible and emotionally gullible bubble, that is: If your marriage (your commitment to self love, honor, esteem and respect and genuine support of each other) isn’t established before you say “I do,” a piece of paper and your vows before God and loved ones won’t make it so. In fact, you’re only consummating – sealing – everything that it is up to that point, not ensuring that your vows will bound you to make it better.
Many do indeed get their fairytale wedding, but don’t get to live out their fantasy marriage; that takes more than effort – that is, intentional personal growth and diligence in choosing a suitable mate – it takes skill!
So before you consider saying “I do”, start planning your marriage by making these things a part of your observation and conversation during the courting process rather than getting caught up in “love,” planning a wedding and then finding out that your marriage is unsustainable.
Read the full article by Zara Green and Alfred Edmond, Jr.: Wedding Planning is not Marriage Planning, then come back and tell us what you think.