A couple weeks back while on my way to a gala fundraiser I received a text from my wife. She apologized for not being able to attend with me. It wasn't her fault. We were double-booked that night. I was a little disappointed because it would've been an opportunity for us to rub elbows as grown folks do"”something we haven't really been able to do much since moving to our new … [Read more...]
Marriage and Facebook: Do You Feel The Pressure To Broadcast Your Business?
I recently celebrated my fourth wedding anniversary. Well, not exactly. The day was on a school night, and unfortunately my wife and I had plans that would keep us apart that evening. She was attending an evening event for an MBA conference. I had a fundraiser to attend for an organization where I volunteer. Although I thought it would have been a great date night "doing it up … [Read more...]
All Men AREN’T Dogs, Boars, Hawks or Any Other Animal
I recently read an article written by a man about men, black men in particular. Although married, he outlined reasons why men prey on women weaker than them and he also warned women that should they enter the game (dating, love and relationships) thinking they have the upper hand they'll lose. It was a warning to all who read it. In the comments, several women applauded the … [Read more...]
Be A Cheerleader In Your Marriage
I remember the feel of the sheets at the W Hotel where I sat at the end of the queen size bed. It was sunrise and I was sitting at the end of the bed staring out of the floor-to-ceiling windows at the clouds hanging above the Atlanta skyline. I couldn't move anything except my hands, which were moving back and forth across the sheets. The night before my flight from New York … [Read more...]
The Joys Of Fatherhood
Before I became a father I put an extreme value for my time. If you messed with my time I was ready to fight. It's not that I was even doing anything all that important. I wasn't up in the club for my weekly grind, I didn't have a weekly poker night with the fellas that was set in stone. It was just that my time was simply that"”mine. So with the arrival of kids in my life … [Read more...]
Men Ain’t Boys – Authentic Manhood
I watched Men Ain't Boys recently, and as I pressed play I wondered how much of what I said when I was taped for the documentary actually made it to the film. I remember being genuinely nervous as I sat down in front of the camera, unsure of what was going to be asked of me and thanks to a few extra pounds I've since lost, not too happy with the way I felt or looked. I … [Read more...]
When Love Isn’t Loving You Properly
During a recent Sunday visit to my local church I was absolutely floored by something the pastor said as a part of his sermon: "If you don't know how to love yourself, I don't want you around me. Not right now anyway." His comment elicited an initial hush, then a gasp before the understanding "Oohs" and "Amens" came bursting forth from the congregation. In my growing … [Read more...]
Brain Aneurysms: Sudden & Silent Killers
In April, one of my wife's cousins was taken from this life after suffering a brain aneurysm. She was a beautiful, graceful and productive woman, mother and grandmother who left us all too soon at the age of fifty. What she thought was an unbelievably splitting headache signaled the end of her life. Since her passing it has been a goal of mine to bring awareness to this often … [Read more...]
Two Words That Will Save Your Relationship: “I’m Sorry”
When you are wrong"”whether that wrong is "small" or you are dead you-know-what wrong"”how long does it take you to apologize? Do you feel you need to apologize at all? The Usual Suspects The following are the usual culprits for being slow to apologize and not apologizing at all. Familiarity Delusion Pride Familiarity Relationships are all around us"”with our … [Read more...]
DAD: The First “Man” She’ll Ever Have
During a recent trip to my hometown Chicago, a fraternity brother planned a hang-out: dinner at a Mexican restaurant at Navy Pier with views of downtown Chicago's skyline, followed by a boat ride on Lake Michigan complete with a fireworks show launched from the water. Our evening began at 7 p.m. I dressed up a pair of jeans with one of my favorite button-down shirts. I … [Read more...]
Why Husbands Take Their Time Taking Out The Trash
In marriage, who are the better communicators - men or women? Most of you probably thought "women" as you were reading the question. The question that needs to be asked then is what are the reasons behind men being poor communicators in their marriages? This lack of communication can cause many problems. Wives don't "get" their husbands. Husbands brand their wives need to be … [Read more...]
Why Love Doesn’t Equal Happiness
In the game of love and happiness, there are plenty of successful tales to speak of. Many of them are posted right here on this website and featured in the documentaries filmed by Lamar and Ronnie Tyler. But success doesn't come without it's peaks and valleys.It's ebbs and it's flows. There are stretches when you are madly in love with the man or woman that you've chosen to … [Read more...]
We Are Family: Why There’s No “Half” In The Payne Household
As I dig through my life in the name of not being a hoarder spring-cleaning, I recently happened upon some paperwork from my son's high school. It was dated last year, back when he was in the 9th grade, back when we were working with his school to implement some new and innovative learning strategies for him. It listed his academic history and his family history. The academic … [Read more...]
Without DAD
by Eric Payne Excerpted from DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! The National Fatherhood Initiative is an organization charged with improving the lives of children by increasing the numbers of involved, dedicated and committed fathers. They have a vast amount of resources and statistics regarding fatherhood at their disposal. The following are just a few. According to 2009 U.S. … [Read more...]
Love Words And Love Warnings
by Eric Payne No matter how much the debate rages on as to the authenticity, interpretation and authorship of the Bible there is no denying that it is a book packed with advice and warnings about love and relationships. Here are just a few: It's better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Proverbs 21:9 (NLT) Better to … [Read more...]