By mid-January, most of you NFL football fans will see your team eliminated from the NFL playoffs…and not going to the Superbowl. As a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan (WHAT???), I’m heated because we are one of those teams! We had a few setbacks (injuries, coaching, lost D. Murray) we just couldn’t overcome this year. So now…I have to wait for the NFL draft and free agency to … [Read more...]
After You Turn-Up at Holiday Parties, Make Sure You Turn-Down for This
At the beginning of the year, we are typically looking forward to God “doing a new thing” in our lives, “taking us to the next level” in our business/ministry, or receiving whatever blessing we’re hoping the Lord will bestow upon us. It’s healthy to have these expectations…to set our heart on things above (Col 3:1). But before all that, we have holiday parties, family … [Read more...]
4 Ways to be a Good Husband or Wife Without Losing Your Identity in the Process
Semantically speaking, is there a difference between being married and being a wife or husband? I think so. Follow me on this. Which do you usually hear when you ask someone their relationship status: “I’m married”; or do you typically hear, “I’m Kelly’s husband” or “I’m Thomas’ wife.” Semantically speaking, being “married” connotes that you (your identity) have entered into … [Read more...]
Why Are Some Men More Caring, Considerate, and Patient with Complete Strangers than with the One They Love
Interesting observation: men have a tendency to be more considerate to a complete (female) stranger than their own mate. I’m not making this up. It’s what several dating and married men admitted to me after completing one of my Relationship Bootcamps. See-what-had-happened-was…I took 40 male and females…whose relationship statues ranged from single, to dating, engage, and … [Read more...]
The Death of Pre-Marital Counseling…As You Know It
My wife and I recently celebrated our 18th year anniversary on October 10. Before we got married, we took two pre-marital counseling classes…one at my church (6 weeks) and another at her church (8 weeks). We both enjoyed the classes and found value in them. In fact, three years into our marriage, we started our Relationship Consulting business, originally called the … [Read more...]
Debunking the Myth: Get All Your Ducks in a Row Before Settling Down
I’m not going to put this squarely on the shoulder of the men. But I see this error more in men than women. It’s that…people think that they need to have all their ducks in a row, like they need to be perfect, having accomplished all their goals on their own…before they are ready for to settle down and enter into a serious relationship I’ve talked to several men in the last … [Read more...]
6 Steps to Break-up if Happily-Ever-After Seems Impossible
I HATE that I have to write about this unfortunate topic. For the record, I’m #TeamRelationships #TeamWorkItOut #TeamGetCounseling. Even in the worst cases of infidelity or irreconcilable differences, I’m always optimistic that a compromise can be reached. However, just because I’m #TeamRelationships, doesn’t mean that others are…specifically the ones in downward-spiraling … [Read more...]
6 Life-Changing Ways Husbands Can Conquer the Challenges of Married Life
There’s going to come a point in time where the challenges of your marriage surpass your ability to conquer them. It’s going to happen…if it hasn’t happened already. You’ll know you’re at that point when your solutions to married-life’s challenges come up short…and your slam out of ideas. And your wife’s looking at you wide-eyed and raised eyebrows like, … [Read more...]
Not Doing This One Thing Will Put The Last Nail In Your Relationship Coffin
I just helped one of my clients break up with his girlfriend. Derwyn and Lisa (we’ll call them) were in a 2-year long distance relationship. They both love each other. But Derwyn’s complaint was that Lisa wasn’t showing enough commitment to their relationship. She’d text him “Good morning” every other day or so and that was basically it. All he was asking was for Lisa to … [Read more...]
GUYS: 4 Tried And True Steps On How to Get Out of “Friend Status”
When I was in junior high school, I mustered up the courage to ask a girl I had a huge crush on “Will you go with me?” "No. Heath, you’re like a brother to me." she replied. "Say What Now!" A brother does not feel toward you what I’m feeling…I thought to myself. How the heck did I unwittingly get cast into brother status…or that curs-ed friend status? More importantly, … [Read more...]
If God Really Told You to Lead Her, Then Here Are 2 Critical Things You Must Know How to Do
I am really intrigued with this one. When I first heard the story that Seattle Seahawks’ quarterback, Russell Wilson, has a new girlfriend, singer Ciara, it didn’t register a blip on my radar of care or concern. Then when I heard they were trying not to have sex, I was like, “Why put that out there…so if you end up having sex, then the whole world is going to judge … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Reinvent Your Marriage Before You Grow Out of It
Every marriage needs to hit the reset button every 3-5 years. Why? Because people grow. And you encounter…what I call…the "new needs". Remember when you where 20 years old? Did you have the same social, physical, financial, or emotional needs as you did when you were 15? Probably not. As you grew up, some needs were satisfied, some changed, and some new ones emerged. The … [Read more...]
5 Ways You’re Being Unfaithful to Your Mate Without Even Knowing It
Forget the words adultery, affair, or infidelity for now. Just because you haven’t cheated on your mate or haven’t had an emotional affair doesn’t mean you haven’t been unfaithful to him/her. The myth about faithfulness, from the eyes of the recipient, is my mate will be 100% committed to me. If that person is found to be unfaithful, to find out why, I flip the question and … [Read more...]
Drop Everything and Go: 4 Selfish Things Couples Can Do to Take a Break from it All
These Prince lyrics to the pre-summer jam, Hot Thing, was my anthem for the summer of 1987. Hot Thing! Barely 21. Hot Thing! Looking 4 big fun. I was finishing up my junior year in high school. Just got my driver’s license and a new (to me) car. And I was full of youthful vigor. I still feel like that youthful vigorous teenager. The difference is, that was 28 years ago … [Read more...]
Can a Bad Man Really Make a Woman Turn to Another Woman?
The subplot of the play was: Crys was in love with a drug dealer who promised her the world. But he cheated on her, lied to her, and broke her heart. Now dejected, Crys decided to give up on men and give women a try. Skeeerrrt! Hold up! WTHot-sauce??? Given this was a play at youth retreat…by youth, I thought this was some high school type of stuff. So I asked my 21 year … [Read more...]