For the past several weeks on BET’s Being Mary Jane, viewers watched Mary Jane Paul put on a brave front as she faced betrayal, a near death accident, extortion, almost losing her job and the death of a dear friend.
Her anxiety and loneliness could no longer be contained and Mary Jane reached out to her “friend with benefits,” Brandon. After carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, Mary Jane finally grieved. Allowing Brandon to provide the attention and support she longed for and desired.
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Previously, Mary Jane vowed that she would hold out for Mr. Right. No longer settling for men who weren’t willing to make her a #1 priority. However, the attention and support that Brandon provided was beginning to soften her resolve.
Although Mary Jane knew they were incompatible and outside of their arrangement, there was nothing more to their relationship. She didn’t allow that to stop her potential resolution to cure her loneliness. Mary Jane stated:
Brandon has really been there for me lately. Maybe instead of looking for the right one I should be looking for the nice one.
Mary Jane’s loneliness caused her to attempt to make a drive-by sexual encounter a more lasting and permanent relationship.
While sharing this new found concept with her friend Mark, Mary Jane was quickly reminded about the rules of engagement.
Mark explained that men don’t confuse sex with a relationship; for them it’s just sex. He further pointed out that Mary Jane should stop trying to turn every encounter into a relationship and focus on herself. Allow Mr. Right to find you having a good time and enjoying life. Don’t settle.
Great advice that we could all heed.
I believe that this episode was the beginning of the evolution of Mary Jane Paul. The hash tag truly summed up the show’s theme #MJInControl.
Viewers saw a glimpse of the new Mary Jane as she began picking up the pieces of her life and slowly taking back her control, choosing to put herself first, celebrating her minor victories, and enjoying life.
Related: Being Mary Jane’s ugly truth episode challenges us to stop lying about relationships
The show ended with the following:
You are not your situation. You are the architect of your own dreams. You just have to build them one brick at a time.
The same is true in relationships. Relationships are a process. You have to create and cultivate the relationships you desire and that takes time.
At the same time, you have to work on yourself. Finding your happiness and contentment within; while becoming a complete and whole person – not for a relationship, but for YOURSELF.
Mary Jane Paul is embracing her new normal, rebuilding her life and relationships one brick at a time. Isn’t it time you do the same?
BMWK, what is your new normal for your relationships?