We love all the photos you post to the Happily Ever After Facebook page and now we want to hear the story behind the smiles. Sharing how regular, everyday folks fall in love and stay in love gives us the extra push in our own marriages, and hopefully in yours as well. If you’d like to be featured in our Couples Spotlight, hit us up at info@blackandmarriedwithkids.com.
The Dilosas are celebrating 10 years of marriage this December. Let’s see what lessons they learned along the way:
Names: John and Kimberly Dilosa
Ages: John (37) Kim (36)
Original wedding date: December 15, 2001
Vow renewal date: December 17, 2011
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Our family consists of : John, Kim, our daughter KaJa Jonee’ (7 years old) and our son Jahari Lawrence (4 years old), and a beta fish named Boudreaux…LOL!
How we met: Our story is a true example of coming “full circle.” In the fall of 1997, I stopped at my friend’s house one day after work. We were acting up (as usual) when the conversation turned to the volume of the music in every car that was passing her house. I said, “If I whistled at one of these cars they would never know because the music is just too loud!” So I whistled at car number one…it kept going. I whistled at another, it passed us by also. I whistled at car number three and it kept going…BUT it turned around and stopped at my friend’s house! Keep in mind, the music was blasting! But John (the driver and my future hubby) heard my faint whistle over all of that noise.
He got out of the car with this beautiful little girl, and approached my friend’s house asking, “Did one of you whistle at my car?” I was soo nervous…and my friend excitedly pointed at me. LOL! John introduced me to his beautiful daughter, we exchanged numbers and about three weeks of phone tag occurred. Sadly, John and his brother were in a tragic car accident that killed his beautiful 2-year old
daughter. He called me, and I asked would it be ok to come to his house and pay my respects. I get to his house, walk in and see a lady I’ve known all of my life, Ms. Connie. I asked, “Ms. Connie what are you doing here?” She said, “This is my house!” My mouth fell open, along with John’s! Yes, Ms. Connie is John’s mom. Ms. Connie and my aunt have been best friends my whole life, but I never
knew she had sons. The lady I have known as my Aunt Debra’s best friend is now my mother-in-law.
How we got engaged: I went to his house after class (I was in graduate school) one day, and I started doing my homework. I was concentrating on my studies so I was deep into my reading. John kept calling my name and tapping me on my shoulder but I wouldn’t look. He called one last time and when I looked up his mom and one of his best friends were standing there, and he was on one knee with the most beautiful ring 🙂
Best part of our wedding day: The best part of our wedding day was celebrating in grand New Orleans style with all of our family and friends! Our wedding was huge because we both come from huge families! We had a Christmas wedding, which is our favorite holiday. We are very family oriented.
Best part of being married for 10 years: It seems like we are having more fun now than we were having 10 years ago! LOL! John and I love trying new foods, seeing new movies on opening night, traveling to new places and experiencing new things. Our life is an adventure and we have a great time especially with our children. We travel, we try cooking new things, we love to go wine tasting, we take the children to plays. Life is so short, so we want our lives together to be magical. We even made our labor and delivery experiences fun (despite the pain being from hell…LOL!)! John and I love being an inspiration to other young couples. We don’t preach to them, we just lead by example and they tell us they want to be like us! I married my buddy!
How do you fight fair? Is there such a thing? We banned the word “fight” a long time ago! LOL! We say we are having a “debate.” Believe me, we have seen married friends fight and we don’t do that! As friends, we respect each other enough to know when it is time to leave the room or get off the phone and cool down. Ten years as shown us how to respect a difference of opinion that pops up every now and then 🙂 I am stubborn…and I am spoiled (thanks to my family). It has taken a lot to mature to the point where I can say “John, you are right and your way makes more sense!” It’s all in maturing.
What are the most important words you can tell your spouse on a regular basis? The most important decision we have made is the decision to say “See you later” versus “goodbye”….we never say goodbye because it is too final. We believe what the Word says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Saying goodbye will generate results we don’t want.
Advice we’d give to other dating or engaged couples: Are you marrying your friend? Do you truly have fun with him/her? This is the key for longevity! Speak what you want to have into existence because faith without work is so dead! It’s true. God hears all. Find a median because you will have debates, but be willing to compromise because making up is so fun. DO NOT FORGET WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO YOUR SOUL MATE, because people change with age, childbirth, accidents, sickness, etc. Can you handle for better or for worse?? Think about it. Marriage is going to give you the best of times…but it is going to definitely bring you the lowest of times. Communicate””never forget how the magic began and what it takes to keep it going. “Treat others the way you want to be treated” applies to your significant other too. Some people seem to forget.
If you could double date with a famous couple, who would it be and why? A double date with Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis would be awesome! They were connected by passion…not just passion for each other…but passion for community and the civil rights movement. They were connected by passion for their craft””acting. Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis didn’t have to say they were in love with each other…their body language and the way the looked at each other exuded it. Quite an inspiration!