We love all the photos you post to the Happily Ever After Facebook page and now we want to hear the story behind the smiles. Sharing how regular, everyday folks fall in love and stay in love gives us the extra push in our own marriages, and hopefully in yours as well. We’re bringing back our Couples Spotlight series and if you’d like to be featured, hit us up at info@blackandmarriedwithkids.com.
Ages: Adam – 31; Stephanie – 32
Wedding date: October 22, 2011
Our family consists of (the couple, any kids, any pets?): Just us 🙂
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How we met: At work (I no longer work there); I used to see him walking around a lot and wondered who he was. People around the office told him about me as well. Our first official conversation was in February 2008. He asked me what I was reading and we chatted about 5 minutes. He told me he was a fashion designer (in addition to his regular day job), and gave me his card. I was very impressed and took the card and filed it away. I called him about 3 weeks later on March 12, 2008, and the rest is history 🙂
How we got engaged: It was Tuesday, May 17, 2011. We had decided to go out to dinner to our favorite restaurant, as a nice date because he was headed out of town a few days later to visit his brother and brother’s family. After dinner, Adam made up a story about wanting to get video of some landmark sites around Detroit to take with him. We settled on making the video at the Main Detroit Public Library, a beautiful edifice in Detroit’s midtown. We get up to the third floor that has gorgeous murals on the ceiling, and we commence to making the video. He gets a shot of me saying hello to the family, then I take the video camera to get a shot of him saying hello as well. Little did I know, after he said his hellos he was going to ask me to marry him on camera! I basically shot my own proposal! He tells me he loves me and asks me to marry him. I almost dropped the camera! I laugh and gasp in disbelief! A passerbyer sees what’s going
on and films the rest. Adam grabs my hand, gets down on one knee, tells me he loves me again, and asks me to marry him again. I scream YES!!! Lots of hugging, laughing and screaming ensue 🙂 It was one of the happiest days of my life!
Best part of our wedding day: The intimacy. We had a small ceremony with immediate family and it couldn’t have been better. We got married on a gorgeous fall day at my home church. We really had a chance to relish in the moment and not get lost in the minor details. We could visit with all of our guests and just have fun. I felt beautiful and carefree. It was the greatest day ever!
How do you fight fair? Is there such a thing? We do fight fair and definitely believe there is such a thing. If we have a disagreement, we talk it out and come to a consensus on what the disagreement is REALLY about – not just things that were said out of emotion or anger. We talk through that and then there are apologies on both sides. Adam is really great about wanting to talk things out. He usually calms down quicker than I do, but in the end, we both talk to each other calmly and rationally.
What are the most important words you can tell your spouse on a regular
basis? I’m sorry. I Love you. I support you.
Advice we’d give to other dating or engaged couples: Do not be disillusioned about love and being in love. Love is a choice and an action. It is intentional and a daily, hourly, by-the-minute commitment. It takes work and effort and you only get out what you put in. Do not let other people (family included) poison your relationship. Really get to know each other; talk to each other; communicate; make time for each other; and really try to understand who the other person is. That takes time – it doesn’t happen overnight, and delve into the process. If they are the one for you, they are worth it.
If you could double date with a famous couple who would it be and why? Barack and Michelle Obama. They are such a powerhouse couple. They seem so down-to-earth and so in Love! They deal with many stresses – some that most of us can’t even imagine, yet they manage to be purposeful about their relationship and it shows. I would love to just talk with them and learn
from them…and laugh with them! They seem fun and have a wonderful sense of humor!