A while back while reading one of my favorite blogs www.averagebro.com I ran across a post he did on “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day”. People on his site were jumping to all sorts of conclusions based on the name of the event but I did a little research and was pleased with what I found. Fast forward to a few days back and I received an email about MYBDD’s upcoming anniversary so I thought I’d reach out to the creator of “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day”, author and relationship expert Maryann Reid. Check out our interview below:
BMWK: How did you come up with the concept for “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day”?
MR: It came to me after I researched the Black Family and found out that the out of wedlock rate was 70% in the Black community. I needed this info for my book, Marry Your Baby Daddyâ„¢, but I knew the dialogue couldn’t stop there, so I created the event. I wanted to create something that was more than words, but action. I knew right away that I wanted to do a mass wedding that was all expenses paid for those couples who have given up on marriage. This was my way of strengthening two parent homes.
BMWK: Did you ever think it would take off like it has?
MR: Yes. I always felt that this was something unique. I mean, of course, when I sent out the first media blast, I thought I was crazy for a moment. I thought people would think I was joking. But the response was unbelievable. It was fast, positive, and valuable.
BMWK: Why do you think it is import for children in these households to have mommy and daddy officially tie the knot?
MR: Well, you already have mom and dad living together that demonstrates daddy made a promise to the child. But when the two marry, daddy makes a promise to the mommy, too, thus completing the family circle. This promise is the public announcement in front of your friends and family that you are ready to commit to your family in a whole new way. A way in which you never have before.
BMWK: What is the first thing people that have never heard of MYBDD say when you tell them about it?
MR: They think it’s some Maury Povich stuff where I find the baby daddies and force them to marry the baby mamas. Not at all. These couples have been together for years. I explain that to people. I tell them these couples already have the blueprint, they just need a foundation. That foundation is marriage.
BMWK: What do you think is the biggest misconception some people have about “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day”?
MR: That it is forcing marriage on people. Sometimes, I get so frustrated that black people are so suspicious about even the good things in life. Most of the negativity is from my own people. Some think if anyone is getting married its because they have a gun to their head, especially if a child is already on the scene. These folks get married because they want to, many are engaged, and see the opportunity to have a free wedding, make a statement to their community, and skip City Hall, which is a common alternative for many who do not have the time, money or focus to plan a wedding.
BMWK: Are there support services like counseling for couples before they get married and if someone is interested what do they need to do to find out more info?
MR: Yes, we provide premarital counseling for all couples. But it is very important to me that we do not interfere or become too invasive with that. These couples don’t need fixing, per say. Our counseling is more focused on why they want to get married now and what they should expect. We focus on building communication skills and planning for the future. If anyone is interested, they should go to www.marryyourbabydaddy.com to fill out an application, become a vendor, or a licensed MYBDDâ„¢ partner.
BMWK: What is your vision for “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day” in the future?
MR: Mass weddings everywhere! Then I’d like to see the stats on black marriage rise back to 65-70% like it used to be in the 1960s. Traditionally, black people are a married, partnered people. We can get back to that. We just have to work together.