We are all connected to each other in some way on some level. However, we identify certain individuals to develop more distinct and defined connections with. Some people find it incredibly difficult to explain why or understand what so strongly attracts and connects them to an individual.
The only thing they are able to offer with certainty is that they are inexplicably drawn to that person. None of us can instantly determine if an individual likes the same foods we like, has the same interest we do, is musically gifted, incredibly brilliant, or is very adventurous based solely on physical attraction. There is something that reaches beyond physical attraction that piques our interest and makes us want to connect on a deeper and more meaningful level with a person.
We all have known of at least one person that has ended a relationship with someone that was drop dead gorgeous to happily settle down with someone that was very average in appearance. As we begin to ponder this seemingly odd turn of relationship events, we ask ourselves how could or why did this happen? How could they have possibly chosen this person over that one? We make speculations or draw ill contrived conclusions to satisfy our own curiosity or negative thoughts. We all know that physical appearance can play a significant role when selecting potential lovers. However, physical appearance alone is not what seals the happily ever after relationship deal.
MORE POWERFUL THAN PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Aside from an obvious physical attraction, what other key deciding factor can cause us to select one person over another? What is the one thing that is more powerful than physical attraction that causes us to be drawn to or captivated by a person? The one thing that captures a potential lover’s attention and captivates their mind and heart is our mind-set, personality, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E.
Your attitude is like a flashing billboard sign that advertises to the world who you are or at the very least who you’re pretending to be.
Your attitude will determine if people view you as weak or strong, approachable or unapproachable, confident or timid. Your attitude even has the ability to change a person’s perception of your level of attractiveness. A negative or nasty attitude can make the most beautiful person extremely unattractive. Your attitude determines whether or not you are selected as a first round draft pick in the game of love, or if you only get called in when the star player has been temporarily taken out of the game, or if you are never selected to play and serve only as a bench warmer.
Your attitude not only determines how people treat and interact with you; it ultimately determines what kind of relationships they want to have with you personally, professionally and romantically. A confident attitude boldly yet humbly illuminates a room. An attitude that emanates smoldering sex appeal seductively electrifies a room. An attitude that screams low self-esteem permeates a room and lingers heavily like a damp musty odor. Simply put you attract what you exude. The universe will send back to you what you put out.
WHAT DOES LOW-SELF ESTEEM ATTRACT?
Having low self-esteem does not mean that you will capture and captivate the heart of a potential lover that also has low self-esteem. Having low self- esteem, does however, ensure that you will capture the attention of and captivate the heart of a potential lover that will inevitably mentally and emotionally scar, physically and sexually abuse, spiritually corrupt, or financially drain you. This new lover will do everything humanly possible to maintain control over you and your low self- esteem. They will continuously covertly or overtly remind you of how unattractive, unimportant, and unworthy you are. As long as your attitude signals flash “low-self-esteem resides here,” you will continue to capture and captivate lovers that help keep you permanently checked into the low-self-esteem motel.
Conversely, having a strong sense of self will be reflected in your attitude; allowing you to captivate and capture the heart of lovers that will complement and enhance those positive qualities in you.
A person that is confident, comfortable with who they are, lives authentically, and has a positive sense of self-worth is clear on what they bring to and deserves in a relationship.
They have the ability to clearly communicate what they need to be fulfilled, happy and are typically able to move forward with establishing a healthy exclusive committed relationship. Because they are able to articulate their relationship expectations, they more often than not, seek to understand the needs of their lovers and commit to meeting their relationship expectations. These individuals are be able to set realistic relationship priorities, while maintaining a sense of balance, self-worth, and individuality. Your attitude is key to captivating and capturing your lover’s heart.
ALWAYS BE YOUR TRUE SELF FROM THE START
It is very important that you are honest about who you are and what you want in a relationship. Your relationship will become very difficult and unsatisfying if you start out portraying someone that you’re not, begin accepting the unacceptable, or doing and saying things that don’t really represent who you are. You can’t do the old bait and switch, or have dual alternating personalities and expect to maintain a happy healthy relationship.
If your potential lover is attracted to you because of your independent and decisive nature. Rest assured they are not going to stay around long if you become a quivering bowl of Jell-O that can’t make a decision without them. Neither can you begin a relationship as a footstool or doormat for your lover, then once you all are married, suddenly transform into Frankenstein or Godzilla. It simply will not work. Know who you are, and be true to who you are.
The knowledge gained on your journey of self-discovery is vital in defining who you are, shaping your way of thinking, and forming your attitude. Remember, your attitude can make you or break you. So don’t allow the mindset that you’ve created based upon your life’s experiences, past relationships, repressed or denied truths, social pressures continuously set you up for disappointment, heartache, or heartbreak.
Learn more about how your unconscious truths shape your attitude and impact your relationships in my soon to be released book Through The Looking Glass: Love Deconstructed.
BMWK: Has your attitude helped or hurt you in relationships?