There will never be a “perfect time” to confess your affair to your spouse. But there will always be a right way and wrong way in which to do it. And we're certainly not giving you these tips on how to confess so that you can go out and repeat the same mistakes again. And these tips are not going to get you off the hook either...you have some serious consequences to … [Read more...]
Infidelity
Hide Your Husbands! Hide Your Wives! January 9th is Cheat Day
Hide Your Husbands! Hide Your Wives! January 9th is revealed as the day that people are most likely to start an affair. According to a popular dating website for cheaters (which will remain nameless on this site) the second Monday after the New Year is the busiest time for their website which currently has over 3 million members. The website says that after the New Year, … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Forgiveness in Your Marriage is a MUST
You’ve been in your relationship for years, and although you’ve made mistakes, you believe they are pretty minor compared to the devastating mistakes you’ve accepted from your spouse. Maybe she cheated on you. Maybe he squandered away a huge chunk of your savings. Or maybe, it’s a long list of smaller issues that have you realizing this relationship is not what you … [Read more...]
I’m Sick and Tired of My Husband’s Cheating, What Should I Do?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been married since I was nineteen years old and it has been a very rocky path. During these years of marriage, my husband has had multiple affairs. These infidelities were only admitted to me after he had a near death experience, in which his present lover at the time showed up to be by his side. I never met this lady before and immediately sensed … [Read more...]
Racing Thoughts: 7 Strategies I Used to Stop Thinking About My Husband’s Affair
When I wrote this title, I was immediately reminded of the wedding scene from the movie Best Man. Yeah, you know the one! Can you say awkward? This scene is by far one of the most tension-filled wedding scenes and so realistically acted out on film. With his best man (Taye Diggs) sporting one heck of a black eye from a serious beat down the night before, Lance (Morris … [Read more...]
Sexual Fantasies Can Actually Be Great for Your Marriage, But Here’s the Catch…
WARNING this article may contain TMI and REAL TALK! Ever wonder what it is like to _________________________________ (insert your fantasy here)? Chances are I’ve done it! Now don’t get me wrong…I haven’t done EVERYTHING! After all, I’m only 38 and have many more amazing years ahead of me and my husband…so, yup, more fantasies to come for Mr and Mrs. Macklin! However, … [Read more...]
Am I Wrong? My Husband Fathered a Son Outside of Our Marriage and I’m Struggling with the Visitation Setup
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband committed adultery more than once and produced a son who was born two months before our 4-year-old daughter. We also have a 10-year-old daughter. I am extremely hurt and dealing with pain, but at the same time, I acknowledge that my husband has a responsibility to be a father to his son. But he is emphasizing his responsibility to the child. … [Read more...]
Should I Stay Or Should I Go? 6 Ways to Help Decide If It’s Worth Salvaging Your Marriage After an Affair
So you’ve had the infidelity bomb dropped on you huh? Me too! And you've decided to give things another shot and work on your marriage. Me too! But, you still wonder, is taking your spouse back the right choice. Well, let me ask a couple questions. Does your spouse still withhold the truth even after the infidelity has been discovered? Is your spouse not taking the … [Read more...]
5 Reasons He Wants to Avoid Talking about His Affair at All Costs
After an affair disrupts your once-happy marriage, your feelings will fluctuate wildly as if you're on an emotional roller coaster. I’m speaking from experience because this has happened to me. Yes, I’ve been in your shoes! I’m not saying this to scare you, but to equip you. What you should know is that ALL of your feelings are normal and valid for someone who’s been … [Read more...]
Does an Affair Mean the End? 6 Reasons Why Marriages Don’t Overcome Cheating
Imagine your spouse breaking their norm, and not receiving your nightly phone call or text message that usually reads, “I’m on my way home.” After multiple failed attempts to reach your spouse your intuition kicks in clearly saying, “he’s cheating.” The very next morning, you follow your urges to look through your spouse’s cell phone messages. To your dismay, you read the … [Read more...]
Women Say There Is Only One Reason Why Men Cheat. As a Man, I Completely Disagree
Probably like many of you, I consume a lot of social media content. I watch a lot of videos and listen to a lot of podcasts. Recently, a video caught my attention that promised to tell the one and only reason why men cheat as told by a woman. Did it matter that a woman was uncovering this reason? I will admit, it did make it interesting to hear how women form ideas about … [Read more...]
I Want to Stay with My Wife, but I Can’t Shake My Mistress. Please Help
Hello Dr. Buckingham, I have been with my wife for 13 years, and we have been married almost two years as of June. However, I have been cheating on her with someone else. I lie and say I have to work, but I am spending time with the other woman. I spend time with her when I get off work and when my wife works weekends. Now, my wife knows about her because my wife looked … [Read more...]
Beyond Betrayal; 4 Places to Turn to Immediately After Discovering Your Spouse Was Unfaithful
“If my spouse ever has an affair, I’m out!” All too often we are conditioned and almost brainwashed to believe that a relationship should and must end after a partner has been unfaithful. At some point, we have all been guilty of planning hypothetical responses to acts of infidelity, by responding to scenarios like: “if that was me, I would blah, blah, blah.” But when … [Read more...]
But He Says She’s Just a Friend; So How to Tell If She’s Really a True Friend or a Side Chick?
Hi Dr. Buckingham, My husband spends more time with his female friend than he does with me. We live together and have been married for four years now. He says that he is not going anywhere, but he continues to lie about his interactions with his friend. I love my husband and take my marriage vows seriously, but I am wondering if my husband feels the same. At times, I think … [Read more...]
Happy Marriages Don’t Prevent Affairs; Sensible Strategies to Really Secure Your Relationship Against Cheating
I thought we were happy! How did this happen? This statement was my reality not once but TWICE! During our engagement, I had an affair, and years later in our marriage, my husband had an affair. Imagine that, right? Perhaps you don’t have to imagine, and if this is so, I’m sorry for your experience. But I'm sure you will one day be like me—in that I'm thankful for the … [Read more...]