There are truths your mate wants to share with you but doesn’t know how. Some conversations are easy, while others are hard to have. When it comes to things that he doesn’t know how to tell you, he may be struggling for words that will be well received.
If he can’t find the words, he may avoid the conversation all together. He doesn’t want to upset you, doesn’t want to be misunderstood, and doesn’t want to create conflict. Here are three subjects that may fall into this category of, “He wants to tell you but may not know how”.
He hates arguing with you
He enjoys the good times just like you do. Fussing, fighting, and arguing are not something that he wants to do. Sometimes to avoid an argument he will shut down and go silent. Not that he doesn’t care or have an opinion but he doesn’t want the conflict. You both face enough conflict with work, family, finances, and sometimes even friends. With you, all he wants is peace.
Tip: Both partners spend time working to gain control over their emotions so that communication doesn’t become a battle on an emotional roller coaster. In addition, strive to become a better listener. Listen with a heart to understand versus a heart that is on the defensive.
He wants to know you more
He married you because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you; enjoying your presence and getting to know you more with each passing day. He wants to know you in the moment. You are not the same as when you first met. You evolve more and more every day. To know who you were last year or even yesterday is not enough. He wants to look into your eyes and see what’s going on. He desires oneness just like you.
You are like a fascinating novel that he is reading. He’s eager to turn the page and see what’s next. He’s ready to know you more and more.
Tip: This oneness and knowing each other more and more comes with vulnerability. A spouse is only willing to be vulnerable when they feel safe. You cannot be a place where your spouse goes for refuge and gets beat up – verbally, physically, or emotionally. You must be a safe place for one another.
He has your best interest at heart. Even when the answer is “no’ or “not now”.
There are times when your husband answers “no” or “not right now” to your requests and suggestions. Even in these times, he has your best interest at heart. As women, we say no often. We can be quick to give our opinion and back that opinion up with bullet points as to why we feel a certain way. However, when he does the same it can feel devastating and come with thoughts like:
- Who is he to tell me no?
- I make my own money just like he does!
- How does he know what the kids need? I’m the one who is with them all the time.
- Is he crazy? Has he lost his mind?
Tip: Wives, when you have a good man, you know it. Which means you also know he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you or the family. Hear him out. Listen with an ear to hear his heart. Husbands, express yourself to your wife. The one word answer, “no” for must women is not sufficient. To just say no, leads her to think you are talking to a child, not to your wife. Allow her the opportunity to understand your position. She can only do this if you share your heart.
Your communion together will determine your unity, closeness, intimacy, and spiritual union as an inseparable couple.
Each item here deals with communication. The level of your communication will determine the level of your communion together as husband and wife. Your communion together will determine your unity, closeness, intimacy, and spiritual union as an inseparable team.
BMWK family – tell me, what else do you want your mate to know but might not know how to express it so that it will be well received?