Every marriage faces tough conversations. If swept under the rug they only grow and resurface like own dirt. If managed and taken care of they provide room for growth and understanding within the marriage relationship.
Use these rules for having tough conversations to help guide you through and come out on the other side successful.
- Create a safe atmosphere for conversations. It needs to be a space of trust. An atmosphere and attitude that is positive for your marriage. You are on the same team. Act like it and keep one another held in a safe space.
- Set a time limit for the talk. Plan for the talk so you each are prepared, rested, and focused on the matter at hand. Give your undivided attention for the specified agreed upon. (No dishes or watching TV, etc.).
- Establish ground rules. Rules such as no raising of voices, no calling names, hold hands while you speak, and maintain a good attitude.
- If rules 1, 2, or 3 are broken the conversation ends and is tabled until an agreed upon time. Now when you table the conservation let it be. No bringing up the subject until the agreed upon time. If it’s brought up over and over you become a nag.
Don’t let this subject matter consume you or your marriage. The topic at hand represents only a portion of your marriage together. Don’t let it take over the whole thing.
Tough conversations are impossible to avoid if you’re going to have a growing, healthy, striving relationship.
Face the conversations with tools and strategies that supports your marriage. Do what it takes to stay close to one another. Your marriage is worth so much more than the challenge of having a difficult conversation. Hold yourself and each other to a higher standard of communicating. Arguing and fighting are easy; they take little skill or self control. Having tough conversations is for grown ups in grown up marriages. You have within you what it takes to move through challenges with skill and grace. You’ve got this!
BMWK, Are you willing to try to move through the tough conversations?
Leave a Reply