You don’t have to defend your marriage to anyone, but you should do what is necessary to protect it. There will be people in your life who feel as though they have the level of maturity, wisdom or experience to inform you on what is best for your marriage.
There will also, unfortunately, be others who have hidden agendas with regard to your marriage. It is a sad reality that some folks just might not want to see you happy. The truth is, you and your partner are the only two who truly know what is absolutely best for your relationship. Those who are doling out advice may be well-meaning in some cases, but they can’t be completely sure on how to guide you, because sometimes they don’t have all the details of what happens in your marriage, especially behind your closed doors.
And occasionally, we are at fault for that, because of the negative message we sometimes send out about marriage and our spouse overall. As a result, it is in your marriage’s best interest to lovingly guide others right out of it.
While being rude isn’t necessary, here are a few gracious ways to steer the conversation away from your relationship.
Marriage Ministry
Being a participant in a powerful marriage ministry is not only great for your marriage, it’s also an excellent comeback for those looking to butt into your relationship. So when someone pokes their nose in your love business, you can quickly say, “Thank you, but my spouse and I are part of a powerful marriage ministry which helps us navigate through any marriage challenge, spiritually.”
Be Open and Honest
Having an open and honest level of communication with your spouse means the two of you are already able to work through marriage difficulties. It is also a very polite way to tell others to mind their own business and stay out of yours. So you can easily say “My spouse and I currently have a system in place to help us maintain a healthy marriage, and it works”.
Be Solution Focused
Being solution focused will also keep the naysayers at bay. Saying something like “It is really a blessing to have so many marriage resources as well as a solution-focused partnership with my spouse”. This says enough without saying too much. It reminds others that you already know what to do when it comes to healing your marriage.
Clear Relationship Goals
Having clear relationship goals both partners have agreed upon, should also assist in keeping the marriage focused on just the two of you. One of those goals should definitely be to communicate effectively and work out any challenges together. Sharing this specific statement would do the trick, “My spouse and I have personal goals for our marriage that help us stay focused on what’s most important, each other”.
No one knows your partner better than you. With that being said, remember no one else can offer you advice on why your spouse does what they do better than your spouse can. Make sure you are communicating your concerns and relationship goals to your spouse, first and foremost. Your partnership is just that, it’s between you and your spouse. Yes, seek resources, yes attend workshops to improve your marriage, but when it comes to dishing out the details of your marriage, be very selective with who you share it with. Remember, it is acceptable and suggested to kindly guide those who don’t have the best intentions for your marriage, right out of it.
BMWK, in what ways have you kept others out of your marriage?