“I wish I could talk good.” she said…squinting her eyes and angrily shaking her head in frustration.
That’s what my aunt told her husband one evening. They were arguing. He made her mad. But she couldn’t find the right words to fully express how angry she was.
Some people can’t talk good. They get in arguments. But what they feel doesn’t always come out…or come out the right way. And that leads to more confusion, arguments, and frustration.
The stereotype is that men have the hardest time expressing themselves. Yet, I know many women who struggle stringing together the right noun, verb, and prepositional phrase to express their feelings.
How do you give voice to your feelings when you can’t find the right words?
Practice.
I’m going outside the box a little bit with this one. Here’s a creative tip you can do with your cell phone or computer to develop your communication skills.
Make A Video Diary
With your camera phone or laptop webcam, make a video diary of yourself expressing your feelings and send it to your mate. The greatest thing about making a video to express your feelings is that you can delete it and start all over if you don’t like it. You can never do that in person!
Sending a video is even better than sending a text because your message is less likely to be misunderstood due to typos or semantics.
Why Make A Video Diary?
You can use it to discuss any topic. You can say thank you for something your mate did. You can ask your mate out on a date night. You can make a video privately and play it for your mate in person to start a conversation. Be creative. It is a useful tool to express your feelings.
The videos should be between :30-3 minutes. Anything longer and you risk rambling. Below are some starter topics you can use to create the video. Feel free to add or replace as many as you like
- The things I wished I could say to you…
- I felt most loved when…
- I felt most disappointed when
- I felt angry when…
- I felt appreciated when…
- If I could do it all over again, I would…
- Thank you for…
- I loved you most when
- I hated when you…
- What I really think happened to us was…
- My favorite time was when…
- I think we hit rock bottom when…
If you don’t struggle expressing yourself…but your mate does, do this as a couples’ project you do together. Make videos and send them to each other once a week. Or, if you have communication problems and feel like you’re not being heard, send your mate a video and discuss it in person.
Making video diaries are just a tool to help you learn how to express what you’re thinking or feeling. Over time, you’ll feel comfortable enough to express your thoughts and feelings in person. Until then, use this useful tool to build up your communication skills.
BMWK, How will you use video diaries to express your feelings?