One thing I’ve learned in my marriage is the importance of being able to bounce back after a disagreement. Getting back to happy with my hubby can be a bit of a struggle whenever I allow myself to dwell in the negative space of who was right and who was wrong. I can replay certain scenarios over and over again in my head just to find evidence of how my argument made the most sense.
This isn’t good for me nor does it benefit my marriage.
Because I want us to bounce back quicker and feel good in our space again, there are a few things we both must consider when we disagree.
How to Bounce Right Back
Disagreements are inevitable but they can make for a great learning experience.
My husband and I will disagree. Our opinions differ on certain topics. He won’t always do what I think he should or vice versa. However, when we disagree we must look at why, examine the actual challenge and create a solution that works for both of us. With each argument my husband and I have, we learn something new about each other. We are better when we find a way to disagree respectively, learn and move on.
Respect is just the minimum.
Our differences are what makes us, us. If we don’t do anything else, we must respect one another. His thoughts, emotions, words and certain behaviors don’t have to look like mine. It’s what makes us individuals. I have to be okay with that. I can’t change him and he can’t change me. We have to be willing to make sacrifices independently. Until we do, acceptance is the key.
If we don’t do anything else, we must respect one another.
Tomorrow isn’t promised, why waste it being petty.
I have to remember life is short. I don’t want to miss out on special moments or precious time being stuck in my feelings. I can apologize. He can apologize and we can get back to loving one another. I no longer want to go days without speaking. We should always live and love for today with every fiber of our being.
Some things just aren’t that serious.
Actually quite a few things aren’t worth fighting over. Small things can easily become something bigger depending on how much negative energy we feed into it. Sometimes it helps to just check yourself, process why you feel the way you do and manage your emotions before it even affects your partner.
Let love always be the guiding force.
Even when I’m upset with my husband, it doesn’t change how much I truly love him. Disagreements will sometimes have us second guessing how we feel about our partners if we aren’t careful. Even during those emotionally high moments, it’s okay to say “Baby, although I’m working through my frustration at the moment, I hope you know how much I love you.” Can you imagine the impact that statement could have on your situation?
Create a Bounce Back Plan
Bouncing back from disappointment and frustration can be difficult for couples, but it can be done. Creating a bounce back plan could bring you back to happy even quicker. For example, as a couple you can decide the next time you disagree to take 5 minutes alone to process what happened, then regroup and take a walk to discuss it together. Whatever you decide make sure the plan works for you both.
Remember, how well you bounce back as a couple will make all the difference in your marriage.
BMWK, how do you and your spouse bounce back after a disagreement? As the years go by, do find that it takes less time to bounce back?