Intention is defined as being deliberate, showing earnest and eager attention; having resolve to accomplish a goal, aim or objective, having purpose.
In order to maintain a happy, healthy, loving relationship couples have to learn to love, speak, and act intentionally.
Having a successful marriage requires the following commitment, focus, and action.
- First couples must decide if they want a successful marriage.
- Second they must collectively define what a successful marriage looks, feels, acts, and sounds like for them.
- Third they must establish a marriage vision that will serve as the framework for their marriage plan.
- Lastly, they must implement their plan daily.
Listed below are three things couples must be intentional about to have a successful marriage.
People seemingly grasp the concept that getting a promotion, earning a degree, or the simple act of preparing a meal requires time, energy, and effort. However, they don’t seem to fully understand that building and maintaining a healthy loving relationship also requires time, energy, and effort.
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For some strange reason people tend to think that staying in love will be just as easy as falling in love. As such, they don’t allocate the time required to do the work necessary to achieve their relationship goals.
It’s imperative that couples understand that relationship promotion requires that they make time to spend with their mates.
Couples must schedule time to re-connect, re-charge, and re-ignite the passion in their relationship.
Planning time to spend together has to be a priority and does not have to be complicated. Couples simply must look at their daily agendas and determine where they can each sacrifice and adjust to schedule protected time to spend together.
It may require that you sacrifice sleep and wake up an hour earlier to prepare and eat breakfast alone together, pray together, or share your attitude of gratitude list with each other. Or it may require that you give up some television time to carve out 30 minutes each night to unplug, unwind, and hold each other.
Couples must ensure that their sacred time is uninterrupted intimate time that is free of all external distractions such as cell phones, laptops, television, and kids.
Additionally, couples must agree to be fully present during this sacred time. Exercising, watching television, perusing social media in bed together does not count. These activities do not afford couples real opportunity to reconnect as they prohibit full engagement with your mate.
In addition to spending intimate one-on-one time with their mates daily, couples must also do something to express their love for their mates daily.
Knowing your mate’s love language is very important. It helps you to determine the best way to show love to your mate.
If you know your mate loves coffee, but never seems to have enough time in the morning to make it, show your love with an act of service by making them a cup of coffee every morning.
If you know your mate appreciates encouraging words, give them the gift of affirming words throughout the day via text, phone call, email, and in person.
Stopping to pick up their favorite treat, massaging their feet, and drawing them a hot bath are all very simple ways make your mate feel loved, valued, and respected.
Every time my honey packs my lunch, he writes a sweet love letter on my napkin. I always open my lunchbox and read the note as soon as I get in the car. His heartfelt words make me smile and sets the tone for the rest of my day.
Doing something special, intimate, and deeply personal for your mate does not require grandiosity. It does however require love, kindness, selflessness, genuineness, and a servant’s heart. Intentionally showing your mate small expressions of love daily, will have immeasurable pay-offs over the course of your relationship.
Lastly, couples have to intentionally decide to be a team.
They must determine that the relationship is greater than its individual parts. This really means that when conflict arises in their relationship or external forces creep in and try to wreak havoc, they have to be intentional about attacking the problem and not each other.
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They must be intentional about seeking to understand rather than placing blame, extending grace to one another, and believing that their mate’s true intent is to help and not hurt. Couples must be honest with themselves and their mates about their needs and wants.
They must also be willing to see their mates’ strengths as gifts to them and the relationship and not as an indictment or personal attack of their weaknesses. Couples must be intentional about seeking ways to diffuse their anger.
- Do something nice for your mate when you’re angry with them
- be vulnerable and apologize when you’re wrong
- validate their feelings even if you don’t agree or understand
- tell them you love them
- be brave enough to step outside of your feelings and commit to seeking resolution, peace, and harmony over being right.
Every couple can have a successful relationship if they choose to. They must be intentional and commit to doing the work required. Rather than having the intention to avoid an argument by avoiding your mate, have the intention of making your mate happy by willingly and cheerfully engaging them. Do what it takes get the relationship promotion you deserve and desire.
BMWK family are you getting lukewarm love? If so, check to see if you are loving intentionally?