I truly love writing for BMWK. Not only do I have an opportunity to spread positive messages about black love, and advise couples on how to love stronger, I also get the chance to interview amazing couples. Couples who make love look damn good and who are making huge impacts on their communities. Imagine being married for 12 years, raising two awesome young daughters, being an elected official, an Attorney and entrepreneur, who is married to a President and CEO of a large organization, who also happens to be an entrepreneur, and still being able to prioritize your life in such a way that God, love, family and service are ever present. Whew, that was a mouthful. But the Devines are doing just that and then some. Through love, God, and overcoming the loss of their son, the Devines are definitely a power couple you want to know.
Tameika Isaac Devine is the first African-American female to serve on City Council and the first African-American to be elected At-Large (Columbia, South Carolina), she is also an Attorney and business owner. Jamie Devine is President and CEO of the Community Assistance Provider (CAP), a business owner, and Real Estate Developer. With all of that on their plates, they have also found the time to balance a love life as well as a healthy household. This couple reminds us all, that all things are possible. Check out this great interview with a couple who makes you rethink what you thought you knew about love and success.
BMWK: Thank you so much for making time to speak with us. We really appreciate it and are so excited to hear your story.
Tameika: We are glad that you called. We actually met Lamar at a conference and ironically enough, I was telling him that we learned of the website and everything that he and Ronnie are doing about a year or so ago. So my husband and I went to a conference in Atlanta and Lamar was there on the mic, and when he said his name, I looked to my husband and said that’s the guy I’ve been wanting to get in touch with. God just put it all together.
BMWK: You said something interesting, that you had been wanting to share your story. What made you want to share it period, and what made you want to share it specifically with BMWK?
Tameika: Well, actually we’ve shared our story through a couple of different outlets. Really, even before the loss of our son, Jamie and I had actually been talking about getting out there more. Let me back up some, Jaime and I are both elected officials and entrepreneurs and lead very busy lives. With all the things we do in the community and with our business lives, our family and children come first. We always felt like that (concept) is sometimes lost especially in younger couples.
Everyone is trying to do so much and sometimes your family and faith get back seats to careers and notoriety. Last year, the two of us went through a transition. We’ve been married almost 12 years now. The last two or three years we went through transition with the friendships we had for many years. The couples really weren’t in the same place that we are spiritually and family wise. It was really a tough lesson for us to learn. Jamie and I are best friends, so we love to be together.
So we actually got involved with our Couples for Christ Ministry at our church and we found that a lot of the folks we were talking to who were understanding what we were going through, were older couples. They had gone through it too. You will have couples in their marriages not at the same place you are in. Haven’t matured into the same place you have. We felt like the growth we went through was a lesson God had for us. Even before we loss our son, we had been talking about doing more. We both do public speaking, and we’d like to do more with couples ministries and couples in general. Showing them you can have a God-Centered marriage and be family oriented, and not feel like you’re missing out hanging with the girls or guys.
In August, we loss our son. I was 37-weeks pregnant and our son was stillborn.
How we lost James Henry is, he was a very active baby. It was kind of like a joke because my 4 year old would see my stomach moving, and say James Henry is moving, he was always, always moving. He was very active, and that’s how he ended up having a knot in his umbilical cord. So that’s what happened. There’s not a lot of research and study on how do you detect umbilical cord issues and so we feel like our experience has helped us bring attention around this.
Most people, think past first trimester, that you’re safe. The likelihood of something happening to your baby is few and far between. I was 37 weeks, he was due to be delivered two weeks after. We went in on a Monday, had a normal ultrasound, strong heartbeat, everything is fine. We go back on Thursday and there is no heartbeat. It can happen so quickly. People just don’t know that and that’s why we founded the foundation.
BMWK: I am so sorry.
Tameika: Thank you. Through that lesson, it strengthened us and our marriage. We kind of felt like there was another lesson and testimony the Lord had for us. When we were going through it, we went through counseling as well. We were talking to our minister and counselors. They see marriages that break up because you don’t know how to deal with such a traumatic experience.
We already had strong communication skills and a strong marriage, but it strengthened us because we were communicating even more. We dealt with it, we had different ways of grieving through it, but we pulled it together and complimented each other. Our minister said we were strengthening other people who may not know how to go through a rough patch in their marriage and come through on the other side stronger and better.
Through that, we felt like the Lord had a better plan. Not just to be community-oriented, but to be a couple who has a faith-centered marriage who is all about family, but also how to keep the communication bound when you go through something tough. After talking to our minister we felt like maybe this is the story we should be sharing with folks. We need to get out more and share our story and it be an inspiration to someone else.
BMWK: I was wondering how you were able to handle that and what advice you would offer to couples experiencing the same loss. What do you think was key in you both being able to overcome that loss?
Tameika: Yes, the one thing I would say is our faith. Being strong in our faith and being able to really lean on God for understanding. I was the one who was questioning God. I was never angry at God, I was just looking for an answer and I wasn’t getting one, so I was getting frustrated. Jamie was really strong in that and we would pray together, talk about it and he invited our minister over to talk to us. It got to a point where I prayed for peace and I actually got it. That was the big thing, our faith. If our faith wasn’t already strong and if we weren’t going to church and growing in our faith together, I don’t think we’d have been able to go through it like we went through it. Or even as fast as we did. It hasn’t been a year and a lot of people can’t believe we are able to talk about it. Our cycle of grief was a lot quicker because of our faith.
BMWK: Thank you for sharing that. As I was doing my research, I was thinking how do they handle all of that, a family, date nights and love as a couple too. I was really impressed as I read about both of your positions and the work you’re currently doing as elected official. How are you able to balance your careers and community involvement with your family?
Jamie: That’s a great question. I will respond by saying we start off each week with a meeting. We have weekly meetings amongst ourselves. We set a time and actually talk about our weeks coming up and the week that just passed. We set daily, weekly, and monthly goals to check in to see where we are.
Every Sunday, when we meet, we look at what’s on the schedule. We’ll say Monday, what do you have? She had a meeting Monday, I had the girls, she had a meeting tonight, so I had the girls. (To Tameika: What do we have planned tomorrow?) (Laughs). We may even take the girls with us. Friday is family night and Saturday is family and community day. Then Sunday we are back at it again. Having the weekly meeting to discuss things amongst ourselves is one way we balance.
Of course support, I’m from North Augusta an hour from Columbia. Tameika’s family lives here. Her mother and brother, my sister and cousin who live here, helps us with babysitting. We have a great support system. We don’t say yes to everything because we know we have to balance. Of course there are trying times when we have to go away weeks at a time, but we also know our priorities. Our children are getting older, We have to make sure we are there for those special moments, so they don’t forget.
I remember growing up and my parents always being there and we always want to make sure we are there for our girls. We want them to remember mommy and daddy were always there. Monday night we both had meetings, and I actually took them with me and one of the community members said your girls are going to be well-rounded because they know how to go to a meeting, read a book, and not disturb the meeting. Our 4 year old will sit and watch a movie and our 9 year old will sit and read a book. We are blessed because they have great discipline. We are thankful for them being the great young ladies they are too.
BMWK: That’s great. You said something interesting and key too, because children won’t forget if you are never there. That is something they will definitely hold on to.
Jamie: Yes.
BMWK: That brings me to my next question, because I am so impressed with both of your backgrounds, especially Tameika being the first African-American female to serve on the city council. I am wondering when you speak of your girls, what legacy do you hope to leave behind?
Tameika: Honestly, I hope to leave one that anything is possible, that the sky’s the limit to them. When I was growing up my parents encouraged me to set goals and dream big. When I ran for office it never occurred to me, until a week before the election, that when I won, it would be history. I didn’t run to make history or do something that hadn’t been done. Even when I decided to run, there were naysayers and people saying, oh you’re not going to win, or you’re too young and you’re an African-American female, not from a political family.
And the majority of the people in the city are white, and since you are running at large, you won’t get enough white votes. I had all these naysayers, it was funny that until people start trying to tell me I couldn’t do it, I never thought I couldn’t do it. I want my girls to have that kind of mindset. That they can do anything they want and they can’t let people set limits on them just because they’re girls or from South Carolina.
I want them to have that thought that they can do anything. In combination with that, the other legacy is I want them to know we all have a very important role in this world, and part of being somebody and being successful isn’t all about the titles. It’s about what you do for the community. With both of us, they see that mommy and daddy aren’t home a lot, but we also make sure they understand that when we’re out, what we’re doing and why we do it. So they don’t see it as losing time with their mom and dad, but that community service and spending time in the community is important as well.
BMWK: And you both have your own business together, The Possibilities Institute. What is it like being in business together?
Tameika: It’s uhm, (laughs) I don’t know, we’ll see what Jamie says. I love it. It’s fun. For me its funny because, like he mentioned, we have our meetings on Sunday. All throughout our marriage we’ve been very big on setting joint goals and trying to do things together. The business just helps us. We are constantly doing goal setting and pushing that forward and making that a success. The most interesting part is, that for our independent jobs we come home at night and I ask how was your day and he will tell me the great things that happen and things that were not so great. So with the Possibilities Institute, we’re doing it together so it’s about having that discussion too.
I am really the business person with the Possibilities Institute. I’m the one who sets up the interviews and sends out the proposals. I send out pitches for and book the speaking engagements. He’ll do the speaking engagements. It’s a family run business. We also have another business, a real estate investment firm. On that business it’s the opposite. Jamie does all the business part of it, he signs the leases, finds tenants, collects the rent and keeps the books. We have these two businesses together, but in one, which is probably more my passion, I run the business and he does what needs to be done for that part. And then for the other, it’s the same thing, he runs that and then I fill in where I need to.
BMWK: So, now how did you two meet?
Tameika: We met while I was campaigning. I did a real grassroots campaign, going to community meetings and door to door. Jamie worked for the local housing authority and he was the manager of the senior housing. Several people said I needed to go and meet him, so he can take me into the buildings to meet his residents. So we were suppose to meet but we actually hadn’t yet. Then we were at an Omega Mardi Gras, and while we were there I was talking to one of his frat brothers and when I finished talking he (Jamie) went over to his frat brother asking, who I was.
He said, “Oh that’s Tameika Isaac, who’s running for city council” and Jamie said oh I was suppose to meet her anyway. The guy called me back over and introduced us and we just started talking. I had no clue he was interested. I just knew we were suppose to meet. Then Jamie said well give me your number and I’ll invite you to come out and talk to my residents. So I just thought it was more campaign wise. I gave my number. He always says in his mind he was going to be rapping to me, but I was clueless. I was so focused on my campaign. I was not trying to date or anything. Even when he was helping me on my campaign, he would ask me out and I told him I appreciate that, but I am really focused on my campaign right now.
It was a month left and that was my primary focus. I wasn’t focused on dating or anything. What really got me, he was respectful of that. He was like oh sure I understand. And he would still help me with my campaign and everything. I liked that Jamie respected it and he was like okay, I understand. He didn’t get offended by it, and he was still committed to helping me. So on election night, he came to my victory party, that night. I said I would really like to thank you for helping me on my campaign and I actually asked him out. I said would you like to go to lunch? We then went to lunch and that was really our first date and we’ve been together ever since.
BMWK: So, Jamie what was it about her?
Jamie: She was soon to be Devine!
(All Laugh)
Jamie: No, its a true statement when people say, when you know that’s the person for you, you just know it. Honestly, it’s like someone just whispers to you, that’s your wife, that’s who you’re supposed to be with, it was like that. I was like hmmm Tameika Isaac, I like that name. Then I said Tameika Isaac Devine, ooh that sounds even better. Everything she said was true, except…
BMWK: That’s so important. When you were thinking about her name Jamie, was that from the first time you saw her?
Jamie: Yes, I saw a sign on the road, that said Tameika Isaac and I said ooh that’s a nice name. And sure enough everything she said was accurate. She was like a celebrity in Columbia, and she still is, But she didn’t come the traditional way of what people think a politician is. Tameika, in my opinion started a lot of non-political people into the local political landscape here in Columbia, she doesn’t get credit for that, but if you look at the local landscape since 2002 when she was elected, it’s changed.
Here you have a young, energetic African-American sister, who said you know what, I want to make a difference in the world. It wasn’t about money, form or fashion, but it was about doing what was right at the time, for the people. She saw an issue, she saw a cause, she wanted to make a difference and she’s done that and has continued to do that, as I know she will continue to do that in the future.
BMWK: I just love how highly you two speak of each other. It’s such a gentleness and it’s loving. It’s like you’re choosing your words so tenderly. I love how you uplift one another.
Jamie: Thank you.
BMWK: What’s one thing you wish all couples knew about maintaining a healthy marriage?
Jamie: Communication, Communication, Communication. I am still a quiet person, Tameika is more talkative, I know she says I like to talk a lot, but it’s equal. You have to communicate, that’s so important. When one shuts down, the other can’t go. Without that communication I don’t think you can go anywhere. You have to nurture the relationship, and that requires communication. Nurturing the relationship requires watering, and the watering is, in my opinion, communication, spending time together, is setting goals together. You want to grow old with this person.
Tameika mentioned when our son died, James Henry, we were here by ourselves and I was like this is a glimpse into the future. This must be what it’s going to be like when the girls are grown and gone. She and I together, communicating, talking with one another. And we talked and talked, not that we hadn’t talked before, but we really talked and prayed, read the bible, listened to gospel music. And I was like oh wow, this is kind of what older people had been talking about.
Then we got back to what I call the new normal, without him. It’s just amazing to see that 8 months later, if that was a glimpse into the future, then I’m good, because of the way we communicated. I can handle this. It’s a no brainer. It reassured me that I, well God picked the right person for me.
BMWK: And you said you both entered the marriage with a good understanding of communication, being able to express how you felt and what you need…
Jamie: Yes, think of it this way, you have to be honest. In life, like the Bible says, you have to put away childish things. As a child I thought as I child, as I become a man, I think as a man, is so true. At 25 I was sitting in my house, on my birthday, I said Lord what is it that you want me to do. He said I want you to help people. Nobody understood that, but now almost 15 years later I understand and see what He is talking about. It was a vision at that time that I want you to help people. And I’m doing that now. I didn’t understand the how, I was just doing my housing thing and helping people in the community and being with the school board. But now He wants us to take it to the next level and that next level is talking to you (BMWK) to talk to others to get the message out about what we’ve been through. You know we made it, we have a lot of things going on in our lives, but we made the priority for each other and for Him and it all works together.
BMWK: What is the next goal, in terms of the Possibilities Institute?
Tameika: Wow, we are always setting so many goals. Our main focus right now is getting the Possibilities Institute up and going. There are 3 things, to expand our influence, our impact, and our income. There are a lot of messages I feel that we have, so that’s why we founded the Possibilities Institute because we felt that through that, we could do something we love, sharing stories, and our experiences with people through public speaking and coaching.
But we are able to expand our impact that we have in the community through the work with Possibilities Institute. What our goal really is, is to grow that to the point where we are speaking in lots of different areas nationally and really growing our ability to impact the community. Partially what we want to do with the income we make with the Possibilities Institute is to fund a non-profit we have founded in memory of our son. That non-profit’s mission is to support families that have had baby loss and specifically try to bring awareness around stillbirth, specifically around umbilical cord issues.
BMWK: And what’s a way that we can support you, or what do you want our readers to walk away, from hearing your story with?
Tameika: Well, that we are more the norm, than people think. Young, African-American, well we’re not as young as we use to be, he just looked at me like.. (laughs), very active in the community, business oriented, but very devoted to each other as a family. I would hope that we can show people that you can be very successful in your career, and be community oriented, you can do all of that and still keep God first, and be very active in your churches, but be very present in your children’s lives, and very present and very strong in your marriage. It’s okay for your best friend to be your spouse, that’s the way it should be.
BMWK: Absolutely and that discussion is so overdue and so necessary, the images are definitely not balanced right now and it gets really frustrating. And my last question, which I meant to ask in the beginning, is why did you choose the career paths you chose. They are all about service, and making an impact. So why service and why community?
Jamie: I’ll share that since my middle school, high school and college years, I have always served in government. From class president, to class vice president, to student body president. I have always had this service and giving back in my DNA. As I told you before I was sitting in my house, by myself, on my 25th birthday and at that point I realized I was of age now, and needed to know what I was going to do with my life, and it was clear as day, just as you and I are having this conversation, the Lord spoke and said I want you to help people, it was just that simple.
No long paragraph or essay, so I said, okay I will. At that point I was still working for the Columbia Housing Authority and I really wanted to become a lawyer. So I always tell people because I didn’t become a lawyer, I still married a lawyer, so I’m still okay. Then once I got into real estate, because I was an intern, at the housing authority, I was only one of 10 who actually stayed and made it a career. And someone from the housing authority said God isn’t making any more land, so this is a great area to be in, real estate. I said you know what, true statement.
So just being there and learning about investing, building, and development and that’s what I do now. I’m a real estate developer, I’m an affordable housing developer but on the non-profit end. I have a staff of about 10 people total, including the contract staff. We’ve done well. We’re about a $9M company, been around since 1999. Another young lady started it, but said if I stayed on for 10 years she would appoint me President and CEO, and she kept her word. I’ve been there 10 years and will be there until it’s time for me to pick a successor. I have always had a service mentality.
BMWK: Tameika, what about you?
Tameika: Well for me, I have always wanted to be an Attorney, ever since I was younger. When most young kids would play school and my friends would rotate playing teacher, when it would be my turn to play teacher, I didn’t want to play. I would be playing lawyer and the students would be my jury and I would be pleading my case. I always wanted to be an Attorney and I can’t imagine remembering back, when I didn’t want to be one.
That was always my thing. Honestly, it wasn’t really to help people, I just thought being an Attorney seemed really prestigious. I didn’t come from a legal family, my parents aren’t Attorneys or anything, but they are very community oriented, and they taught me about giving back. So that part about being active in community service was always part of what I did. Being an Attorney makes you have a natural inclination toward the law and understanding why laws are made and knowing who does what.
BMWK: I am sure that is such rewarding work. Well, I thank you two so very much for making time for this conversation. I am truly inspired, so I know our readers are going to be as well, by the words of wisdom that you shared.