Have you ever said something to the person you love that you regretted the moment it left your lips? Your words were more than likely a result of your bruised ego. The intent was probably for someone else to feel as wounded as you did, right? Or, have you ever lost your one true love due to your poor decision making? Only to wish you had one more opportunity to treat that person the way you knew they deserved to be treated. Most of us usually react and consider the consequences later. Because we don’t normally enter into a situation and think with the end result in mind, we usually find ourselves filled with regret, wishing for a do over.
In the relationships with our spouses as well as the ones with our children, we must count the cost of our words and our actions. If in the end feelings are hurt or the relationship is permanently damaged, we’ve failed. Not all situations are easily corrected. With some, unfortunately, we can’t go back and erase the pain or start all over.
I remember years ago having lunch with my husband and while watching him I made a secret promise to myself that I would never be responsible for hurting him in any way. From that moment on, I have been conscious of how I treat him. I could always improve in certain areas, but for the most part I am maintaining that promise. I desire a “no regrets” relationship. I don’t want to be sorry for anything I did or didn’t do in my marriage.
For all those married couples out there interested in joining me, here’s where we begin:
Even in anger we must choose our words carefully when speaking to the ones we love. We are more in control of our actions and responses than we care to admit. So we are able to tame our tongue when we really want to.
Remove the chance for the “what ifs” to show up in our future. “What if I had been more loving”, “what if I had been more patient”, “what if I had given more time”, “what if I had been more honest”. The goal is to make the what ifs a reality and just do it!
Thoroughly enjoy being married. Taking vacations or mini getaways and just being spontaneous all help to keep the marriage alive. We all know tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. We must enjoy the time we are given, especially when we are blessed to share this time with the person we love.
Don’t hold back with our love, trust and commitment by being fully present and giving of everything. When we look back over our lives, we want to be proud of the fact we loved with our whole being. Say and show just how much you love your spouse as often as possible.
Get frisky more often and take those safe risks with your partner. We are supposed to be uninhibited when it comes to our spouses and live a little when it relates to romance. We should have “no regrets” when it comes to our bedroom behavior. We shouldn’t be afraid to try something new with the person we love and trust.
No regrets means we gave our all and lived on purpose with our thoughts and actions. I don’t ever want to look back over my life and regret any situation that did nothing to honor my relationship.
BMWK, what are you doing to create a “no regrets” relationship?
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