The official definition of marriage is a familial bond recognized legally, religiously or socially, granting the participating partners mutual conjugal rights and responsibilities. However, we all know marriage is so much more than that. It is the ultimate friendship and a real partnership.
What I’ve noticed over the years is that a great many couples forget the partnership piece. Some folks are so concerned with their own needs, they neglect the idea of what it means to be in partnership. Partners are equals, who value one another’s opinions. They treat the other with respect and stand together during the highs and the lows.
I encourage every couple to routinely reflect on their marriages and strive for true partnership. And here are five areas you should work on.
You don’t talk about the small stuff
You should communicate with your spouse on even the smallest issues. Of course, couples have to communicate on significant concerns that affect the family, but they also should be discussing the minor things as well.
In my opinion, just to show respect, married couples should be sharing their whereabouts with each other. It could be labeled as disrespect when you don’t inform your partner of your plans. It only takes a second to say “Hey babe, I’m hanging out at ___________ with __________ tonight, I should be home around ______.” Believe me this lands so much better than “I’ll be back.”
You don’t ask for help
Partners count on one another. The whole idea behind a partnership is to have someone who can support you and do the things you can’t. Couples should be leaning on one another and asking for help when necessary; this means they should neither be too scared nor too proud to ask for help. Believe me, your partner will appreciate being there when you need them.
You don’t know how to motivate one another
Partners recognize they are on the same team, so they root for the other. Partners should also realize when the other spouse is struggling or needs a pick me up. Married couples should be their own biggest cheerleaders, always rooting for the success of their marriage and of their spouse.
You don’t know how to utilize each other’s strengths
Accept the good and the flawed parts of your spouse. True partners are accepting of one another. They recognize we each have flaws and continue to love in spite of those flaws.
Instead of zeroing in on each other’s shortcomings and weaknesses, uplift each other’s strengths. If someone is better in one category, allow them to handle that in your partnership (and vice versa).
You don’t support your spouse enough
Another great thing about true partnership is that it is a bond. There shouldn’t be anyone else in this world who can bad mouth your spouse in front of you. Now you don’t have to come to blows, but partners should be willing to defend and support their spouse no matter what. Partners cheer on the other’s accomplishments.
When you brag on your spouse, you’re acknowledging to yourself and others all the great things he or she brings to the table. And recognizing your partner’s value to you is ideal for a great partnership.
Couples must recognize and appreciate their marriage for what it is, a true partnership. You’re playing for the same team. Get your heads together, get on the same page, and find ways to win in your marriage and as a couple.
BMWK, what behaviors in marriage do you feel demonstrate partnership?