by Harriet Hairston
I just finished watching Alicia Keys perform on the 10th Annual BET Awards. It’s really hard to believe she’s been in the business for 10 years! She is a powerful lyricist, a prolific performer and a rare gem in the music world. Her talent and drive are second to none, and she is a perfect example of what hard work, tenacity and perseverance can bring you in the music business. She went beyond the one-hit-wonderisms of the music industry today; she wins Grammy after Grammy and creates hit after hit. The woman and her team have the Midas touch when it comes to music! She has even crossed over into the movie industry with her role in “The Secret Life of Bees,” and she didn’t do half bad as an assassin in “Smoking Aces.”
I should be celebrating Ms. Keys’ successes, and to this end, I do. PLUS she is expecting her first child and recently got engaged to the love of her life.
…But therein lies my frustration. I don’t know her personally, but to be honest, that’s about as far as I can go with nice things to say. If you’re like me, you had a mama that told you if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And if you’re like me, you probably ignored that valuable advice a time or two. This is going to be one of those times where a girl has to say what she’s gotta say, come hell or high water.
If you know me, you know I’m not a hater. I celebrate the victories of others every time I get a chance. It warms my heart to hear of breakthroughs, and it breaks my heart when I learn of losses. Don’t get me wrong…she is just the prototype and poster child of what I’m talking about. This article is not focused on THE Alicia Keys, per se, but the same kind of Big Pimpin’ that plagues the sanctity of marriage today.
I stated that Ms. Keys was recently engaged, and I should celebrate. But it’s kinda hard to do so when the man she received her ring from just got his divorce finalized at the beginning of this month. I stated that Ms. Keys is expecting her first child, and I would never shake my head at a child entering this world. Nevertheless, she is carrying a child that is a product of adultery. That is not an indictment on the child, but on the parents who chose to cheat in order to conceive.
…And like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives. I’m not going to be one to make predictions about this relationship. Ms. Keys could apologize to the former Mrs. Beatz, their families could blend like many of the families on BMWK, and they all could live happily ever after.
My desire is to address a few deeper issues:
- WHY is the world at large acting like this is OK? The Brangelinas and Swizzkeys in the spotlight are making it seem like true love is not about commitment, but thievery.
- Is “having it all” worth it if it is gained by any means necessary? Of course, the answer is no, but situations like this will have unfocused minds wondering if the grass is greener on the other side because it sure looks easy on TV.
- Is there something wrong with morality? It seems these days that right is wrong and wrong is right!
I’ve learned a few things in my short time on this earth: 1) You reap what you sow/karma is no joke/you can’t hide from the law of reciprocity; and 2) Anything done without God will either fail miserably or succeed even more miserably. I pray neither of the above affect the upcoming nuptials of Swizzkeys…but in this case, prayers may not be enough.
Anything done the wrong way can be turned right with humility and communication. In the case of the Mashonda/Swizz Beatz/Alicia Keys triangle, I hope that takes place…not for the sake of the adults who made some childish decisions, but for the sake of two children who did not ask to be here. I could truly go on and on, but here’s the bottom line and “So what?” for me: EVERYTHING ain’t NOTHING if it’s ill gotten gain.
Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. There is one more permanent label she holds: “author.” You can purchase her first book, “Who Are You?” simply by clicking on the link. You can also contact her at [email protected].