Many couples pride themselves on developing a strong sense of trust and honesty in their relationship. They stand by their commitment to always keep it real with their partners. It is the foundation of a healthy partnership.
Being honest about various aspects of the relationship is exactly what a good number of couples are most proud of. People are usually open about their mate’s cooking skills, parenting styles and their partner’s appearance. We can easily point out outfit, hairstyle or overall exterior challenges. Our spouses trust us to keep them on track, whether physically or emotionally. From sharing how we’re feeling emotionally to when we are upset, bothered or frustrated, we make sure our mate is always aware of those inner struggles.
The reason we typically share is for venting purposes of course, but also to give our spouse the opportunity to correct whatever it is. We recognize it’s no fun to suffer in silence, if no one knows we are upset but us. It is normal to release stress in a healthy way by verbally and calmly explaining to our partner what concern us the most. But, is there such a thing as sharing too much or being too honest too often? Is it a must that every thought, feeling and emotion is revealed to our mate? What if it becomes a bit too much on our spouse and begins to tug away at the relationship?
I have learned over the years to pick my battles carefully because not everything warrants a massive reaction. Certain situations can easily be handled on our end without ever involving our partners. Some of us tend to overreact, but if we take a step back and look at the circumstances from a different perspective, we may find what we thought was a big deal really isn’t. Once we learn our spouse and begin to trust their motives and intentions, we will realize every little challenge we encounter with them won’t always have to be a topic of debate. The hope is that we get to a place where we can analyze and resolve small issues on our own. Of course this idea does not include those important issues that hurt and absolutely must be discussed with our spouse. I am only speaking of those that could be considered petty. There are some of us who make something out of nothing. Keep in mind a spouse who complains too frequently or is overly sensitive about everything is no fun to be married to? By taking our focus away from what isn’t work to all the things in our relationship that make us happy, we can concentrate our energy on what is most important.
Everyday won’t be peaches and cream. There are going to be times when your spouse will drive you crazy, but we always have control over how we react. We can nitpick at all the little things that occur, or we can focus on the positive. Remember, everything that comes up doesn’t necessarily have to come out, especially if it isn’t solution-focused or contributing to the overall growth of the marriage.
Do you feel you might be a complainer in your marriage or do you keep things bottled up?