The truth is, we will have conflict in marriage. It’s normal. Conflict is a disagreement caused by varying opinions. No two people have the same opinion all the time, even if you are husband and wife. However, conflict can be healthy when you decide to stand together and wage war on the problem, not on each other.
Here are 10 Godly ways to resolve conflict starting today:
- Recognize the root of all quarrels
“Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves.” (James 4:1)
- Remember to stay calm
“Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.” (Proverbs 15:18)
- Be quick to listen and slow to speak
“Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage.” (James 1:19-23)
- Use your energy to get along
“So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.” (Romans 14:19-20)
- Pray
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
- Be Patient, Humble and Gentle
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2 NIV)
- Forgive
- “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:14 NIV)
- Get Help; Wage War on the Conflict. “Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers.” (Proverbs 24:6 NIV)
- Have Sexual Relations
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV)
- Love
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)
My husband and I are coming up on 30 years of marriage. I wish I could tell you that conflict will stop, but it doesn’t. However, you will become better equipped to handle it. What used to be a big deal no longer matters. What used to take two weeks to resolve now takes two hours. The challenges that drew you apart now bring you closer together.
Download: A Scripture a Day: 31 Scriptures to Protect Your Marriage
BMWK family, which of these Godly ways to resolve conflict with your spouse best suits you? Type the number in the comment section. I think I have used them all. 🙂