Another useless and unfortunate killing of an African-American child is an international news story. It seems that violent incidents involving children are more common place now than ever. No matter which side of the political aisle you sit or how your personal experiences frame your opinion, I believe we can all agree that one child dying from violence is one child too many.
From the shooting in Ferguson, Missouri to the insane number of homicides in cities like Chicago, Illinois, parents who feel uneasy about the safety of their children are unquestionably justified in their angst. Yet as authentic our fears may be and as much as we would like to protect our children from all harm, no parent has the ability to monitor a child 24/7.
Control Your Child’s Image
While it is virtually impossible to control all aspects of our children’s lives, the eventual adverse and inappropriate depiction of children like Trayvon Martin and Mike Brown suggest that parents should do everything in our power to control the image of our children whenever and wherever possible. History has shown from the unfortunate cases where children are slain, the adage about the media seems to hold true “there is no news like bad news”.
In a world where sensationalism rules the day and others’ cheerfully welcome scandals to make them feel better about themselves, parents must do their part to reduce the likelihood that the memory of your child is not further tarnished – should they be the victim of an unfortunate and pointless murder. Having a child victimized is bad enough. Living without your child is worsened when their character is assassinated daily and your parenting acumen is forever on trial.
Develop The Story You Want Told
Now is the time to write the story you want told about your child. For the record, encouraging you to take control of your child’s image is no foolproof method to guarantee your child’s safety nor is it meant to exonerate the heinous and unjustifiable murders of children like Trayvon Martin and Mike Brown. There is no honorable excuse nor dignified justification for their deaths.
The lessons from cases such as Martin and Brown infer that the more control you have of the story now, the more control you are likely to have should the unthinkable occur. Take control today by organizing the following five aspects of your child’s life:
- Resume – Get a three ring binder, create a Google document or prepare a Word file to chronicle your child’s life. In the document keep copies of report cards, academic awards, extracurricular events and any other honors or favorable mentions. This is also a perfect place to store photos of your child that depict them the exact way you want them represented.
- References – In the same document you choose to keep your child’s resume, store character references. At every stage of your child’s development, you should request references. Letters of reference are not solely for employment. Ask for letters of recommendation from any and all who have constant contact with your children – neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc.
- Community Service– Mandate semiannually that your child perform volunteer work that benefits the public. Performing community service should not be confused with attending or being a member of a religious organization. Serving the greater community is a way to introduce your child to public officials. Public service is yet another way to illustrates that your child (contrary to national narratives) recognizes and accepts their social responsibility.
- Meet & Greet – Make sure that you meet and greet those who share the care of your child. Get to know your child’s teachers, principals, counselors and coaches thoroughly. It is imperative that you know what they know and you know how they feel about your child. Routine and respectful interaction is the only way to know if the story you want told is the story others will tell.
- Big Brother Is Watching– Big brother is watching and I don’t mean the older male sibling. More than ever before, we leave a digital footprint with everything we do and everywhere we go. Make sure your children understand the significance of their digital imprint. Monitor their Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram, YouTube and Vine accounts so that there are few to no social media surprises or digital missteps.
Live Long And Prosper
Should our children be permitted the opportunity to live out their life, the five aforementioned things provide additional value. Colleges and employers are examining and scrutinizing every aspect of our children’s lives. So helping your child organize and manage their life now is not only a way to guarantee that the story you want articulated is stated in the worst of times, but organizing and managing your child’s life is a way to give them a head start on the competition.
My hope and prayer is that all children will be able to live a long and prosperous life. It is beyond time that our children reside in a world where their civil rights and human rights are constantly respected.
BMWK – What story is being written about your child? What story would others tell about your child?