It is a brand new year and a great opportunity to revive your marriage. You and your partner may have struggled and barely made it through another year of marriage. There may have been more disagreements than you would have liked and even harder to find solutions.
Believe me, you weren’t the only couple last year to wonder if your marriage was going to survive. There were couples around me who were at their wits end and are finally beginning to turn it around.
Marriage is for grown folks only.
Marriage, like any other lifelong commitment, will have temporary seasons that are more complicated than others. It’s normal and it’s okay. What couples must realize is that for every trial there is a solution.
Depending on the couple you ask, there are a variety of options to choose from when it comes to healing a marriage. My challenge to everyone reading this article is to, no matter how bad your situation looks, remove two of the options that always appear to be the easiest for couples.
Option 1: Cheating
You’ve heard the saying, and maybe have bought into it a time or two, but the grass isn’t any greener on the other side. No matter who you are in a relationship with, the newness wears off and the real you and them shows up.
Marriage is for grown folks only. Cheating is for weak individuals who weren’t strong enough to really show up in their marriage. If you find yourself on the verge of cheating here are a few solutions:
Tell your spouse. There is something present in your marriage making you feel like infidelity is the only real option, so gather up the nerve and tell your spouse you’re thinking of cheating. Of course your spouse will need answers.
Be prepared to explain what it is that has you so unhappy or has that other person looking so desirable, that you’re thinking of being unfaithful. I know most of you have a fear of taking this action because you don’t want your marriage to end.
And if this is the case, we must be honest with our partners giving them a chance to help fix what’s broken in the marriage.
Consider all the challenges in the marriage and take ownership of the ones you’re responsible for. It’s so easy to point fingers and blame our spouse for the unhappiness we are experiencing.
But they usually didn’t do it alone. So examine your role and decide where you can make improvements, prior to cheating.
Pray before you cheat. Ask God to remove the lust you feel for the other person and give you a new love and appreciation for your spouse.
Again, cheating is never a solution to any problem you may be facing in your marriage. Promptly remove it and focus on real options that will restore your marriage.
Option 2: Divorce
You may also be familiar with this saying “divorce is not an option.” Some couples use it as a threat or keep it in their bag of tricks when the marriage becomes a little shaky. Couples must be realistic about their unions and who they married.
Some days are going to be harder than others, it’s reality. You will disagree and yes your partner will frustrate you from time to time. But divorce is never the best option. Before divorce becomes your choice, here are a few things to consider:
Relationship professionals specialize in marriage and offer resources, exercises, and tools built to heal even the most broken of relationships. Prior to calling it quits, seek the help of an experienced professional.
Movies, books and webinars are at your fingertips. Some couples are private and would rather heal the marriage on their own, and that’s perfectly fine too.
There are a ton of resources, that touch on every trial you can think of in a marriage. With your partner decide which resources best addresses your situation and use it together.
Act like divorce doesn’t exist for your marriage. Don’t use it as a threat and simply don’t speak it into the atmosphere. If friends suggest it as an option, shoot it down as quickly as they share it. Remove it from your consideration completely and look for alternative ways to begin the healing in your marriage.
Couples, I know it isn’t always as easy as I make it sound. However, when you remove certain thinking stinking from your marriage vocabulary, it forces you to grow up and take a stand for your marriage. When your back is up against the wall and you no longer have those two as options what will you do? I’ll tell you, you will fight for your marriage. Because again there isn’t any other option.
BMWK, have you removed these two options from your marriage?