Most of the time when I ask people about their marriages, I get responses like: “It’s good.”
And sometimes I get: “ We’re all right.”
But one response that I would love to hear more often is: “We’re great.”
Do you ever see those couples that seem to have great marriages and wonder what they are doing that’s so different from everyone else?
The one thing that I have learned from couples that would characterize their marriages as being great is that they never stop working on their marriages. They are not satisfied with being “all right” or “good.” They keep working on their relationship…regardless of how long they have been married. They do this because they know that their marriage (just like life) is a journey and they want to be prepared for any obstacles that come their way.
In anything that you do, if you want to move to the next level, then you are going to have to do more
In honor of National Marriage Week that occurs February 7 to February 14 every year, and seeks to strengthen marriages and reduce the divorce rate, check out
7 Ways to Take Your Marriage to the Next Level….
Next Level Communication is Non-verbal.
Great communication is at the core of any healthy marriage. Relationship Coach and author, Deborah Mills is challenging us to go deeper by communicating with the goal of pleasing one another. She says:
“Go deeper. Begin to know your mate so well that you pick up on their verbal and nonverbal messages. Begin to know what they want before they ever ask. Then don’t just know what they want, take action. How sexy is that! Now that’s what communication in marriage is about – communicating with a purpose to serve and please one another to the highest degree while remaining faithful to the [marriage] mission.”
Next Level Communication is Epic!
Next Level Intimacy is Spiritual
We always stress how important strengthening your levels of intimacy is to your marriage. And most of the time, couples are focused on strengthening their physical intimacy and their emotional intimacy. But Dr. Dwayne Buckingham, founder and CEO of R.E.A.L. Horizons Consulting Service, says that there are 3 levels of intimacy in your relationship: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Whereas, spiritual intimacy sets the foundation for healthy relationships because it allows couples to connect on faith and purpose.
Next Level Intimacy requires you to work on the spiritual foundation of your relationship. According to Dr. Buckingham, having a common purpose gives meaning to your relationship.
Physical intimacy cannot intensify spiritual intimacy. However, spiritual intimacy can intensify the other levels of intimacy.
Next Level Loving Is Consistent
Understanding how to love your spouse in the way they need to be loved (their love language) is a concept that has changed the course of many marriages. It has taken couples from going down the dark path to divorce to the journey of a happy and loving marriage. But what happens during those times when your spouse is not being loving or during those times when you are not feeling loving towards your partner?
Next Level Loving requires you to continue to have loving actions at all times, even when you’re not feeling the love. In the book, Renovating Your Marriage Room by Room, Dr. Johnny C. Parker, Jr. says there will be times that you will feel very engaged in an emotional, spiritual, and physical way. But then, there will be moments when you don’t feel so engaged. He says that couples that have great and lasting relations recognize this ebb and flow of love. These couples have figured out that you need to:
Continue to have loving actions, even when loving feelings aren’t present. When a couple chooses loving actions, often times loving feelings emerge again.
Next Level Loving will get you through those rough times.
Next Level Service is Contagious
If you consider your marriage to be good, then you already know how good it feels when you do something for your spouse and when your spouse does something for you. One of the keys to happy relationships is putting your spouse’s needs before your own. This will allow you to create a “spirit of service” in your relationship. Next Level Service is going to squash the spirit of selfishness right out of your relationship.
In Next Level Service, we want you to serve your spouse: even when you don’t want to and even when that voice in your head says they don’t deserve it. The National Healthy Marriage Institute says:
- “The antidote to selfishness is service.” It’s difficult to be selfish when you are serving your spouse. Service forces you to put the needs of your spouse before your own needs.
- “The spirit of service is contagious.” Give it a try. They say that your spouse will begin to reciprocate in about 3 weeks. So continue to be consistent with your service and watch your relationship change!!
Now, that’s Next Level!!!
Next Level Dating is Never Boring
We are always stressing how important it is for couples to be purposeful about spending quality time together (i.e. date nights.) Well, we want you to take your date nights to the next level. Next level Dating fosters communication. So the next time you are tempted to go to the movies for date night, consider doing something that will enable you to have deeper conversations. Check out Top 10 Date Ideas to Improve Communication in Your Relationship
Next Level Giving Goes Beyond Your Marriage
If you consider your marriage to be good or great, now is the time to give back. Next level giving requires you to pour into the lives of other couples or even singles that also want to have healthy relationships. Help us build strong families and strong communities through showing others how to love each other.
Next Level Planning has Six Components
Without a plan, things fall apart. This includes family and relationships. Another key ingredient for marriage success lies in achieving the goals and plans we create as a family. Carlos and Katherine Green (our friends and mentors) are the founders of The Family Goal Planning Guide and Workbook. They explain the importance of setting goals, achieving those goals and working together to ensure you are setting appropriate expectations.
In Next Level Planning, the Greens ask you to set goals in six core areas of your life: “Faith, Family, Finance, Future, Fitness, and Fun.” Setting goals in all of these areas helps your family to maximize their full potential in all aspects of their lives.
BMWK – how do you plan to take your marriage to the next level?